Is this wrong

If my husband is rude to me, belittles me, calls me names when he’s annoyed or angry, and is just plain unpleasant to me and he wants sex, and I decline because of the way he speaks to me and treats me, am I in the wrong for that? I know islamically you shouldn’t decline sex or something but I’m not sure in this type of situation. I just don’t feel like doing anything with him because of how he is with me and how he’s made me feel, so when I say no you haven’t given me an apology he gets really angry.
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im so sorry that you you've been treated this way ☹️ Religiously you're not allowed to deny intercourse to your husband unless there is a religiously valid excuse which is if you are menstruating, postpartum bleeding and fear of harm being caused through intercourse. However, he is sinful for breaking your heart and its a sin to hurt another muslim by name calling, swearing and belittling so its important you do mention this to him too. Maybe before the lead up to intercourse, you could speak about how you feel and that it would make you want to have intercourse and enjoy it if he acknowledges how he made you feel and that its wrong to hurt another muslim by hurting their feelings. Communication is really important when it comes to intimacy and knowing what is permissable and isnt. it's also mentioned in the religion that you should have alot of foreplay too, so maybe although he has hurt you, you can choose to forgive him so he doesnt fall into sin and it could help get you in the mood

And then maybe after that, his heart may soften towards you but this ofcourse does not mean he should speak to you and treat you in a degrading manner

@Chloe Because he hurt his wife, its sinful and unless she forgives him, or he asks for forgiveness and repents, he wont be forgiven for the hurt he has caused so the advice im giving this sister is that if she chose to forgive him, it would save him from being punished from committing that sin and ofcourse you dont want your spouse to be punished, you want the best for them, you are a team and want to be with them in the hereafter

yes its wrong to not ask for forgiveness after you hurt someone, this isnt what our religion teaches at all. I never said anything about being forced or manipulated, there are certain rights a husband has and a wife has in our religion. This group was made for muslim mothers seeking religious advice on certain matters, this is what the sister is seeking advice on.

please dont speak on what you dont know. There are details to it and not just what i mentioned. Im not going to go into it with you since you seem to be commenting in the wrong group first of all and secondly you are also trying to belittle anothers religion.

He really needs to reel this in. How can he expect his wife to be intimate when he’s being aggressive and off putting 🤢 Maybe send him videos of Mufti menk, Omar sulieman on how to treat your wife. He has to be gentle, kind, loving, look after you physically and emotionally. The mental wellbeing is the responsibility of the husband and he’s doing a rubbish job atm. @Chloe hey, just wanted to add in, between spouses a healthy sex life is encouraged, if she doesn’t want sex, because she’s unwell, headache, exhausted from the daily work that is enough reason for her to say no. In Islam no man is allowed to force himself on his wife. The ruling is there so that sex is not used for as a form of manipulation. “Oh I want a designer handbag and won’t have sex until you get it for me”. As I mentioned he needs to work on himself to understand why his wife isn’t so keen. In this case because of his horrible behaviour that’s off putting.

@Chloe why you even in this group? Yes you’re free to join, but if your goal is to judge and downgrade our religion, then maybe don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re not wanted. We didn’t ask for a non Muslim opinion on what they think about our religion.

@Chloe I can understand why you think that way but she is a Muslim asking in a Muslim group, so she is seeking a Muslim opinion. I’d also recommend you read Ralliis comment as it summarises the topic a little if you’re keen to learn something. @anon he can’t force you but if he’s upset about it it probably depends on the bigger picture. I do think it’s important to discuss the situation and explain how it’s not something you can do when there is so much anger between you both. Give him some naseeha. It’s horrible to be belittled by someone who is supposed to love and care for you 💔 May Allah guide him ameen x

There is a good explanation of this on Islam qa and being emotionally drained IS a good enough reason to deny sex. I would argue what you’re experiencing is even more significant than simply being emotionally drained. He definitely needs to look at himself and realise that what he is doing is abusive.

@Chloe oh girl you have the nerve to come to an Islamic forums and bash the religion get out of here

@Chloe you shouldn’t be in here to begin with

@Chloe im sure you wouldn’t take it lightly if we were to advise you about things we know nothing about. Go spew your hate elsewhere

@Chloe because in Islam the man won’t go out looking for a. Piece on the side to have sex with. Men are only allowed to have sex with their wives and if a wife deprives the husband for no reason then she’s depriving his right not to say there are reasons for the woman also to deny sex. She can say no , if the man acts childish then it just shows his character. Also men in Islam are not allowed to even look at porn or masterbate. So sex is very important as it is for women too. Same applies . We don’t go looking for releases elsewhere.

@Chloe you’re confusing Muslims and Islam. The rules are there and they are there to guide us, there’s wisdom behind them. If people aren’t following it properly that’s when we have problems. This life is a test so yes Muslims that you know will not always follow or have the knowledge to follow through properly.

@Chloe of course there’s cheating within Muslims !!!!! But our religion forbids it. We are talking about Islam not individuals. There are also plenty of men and women who fear god and do not pursue worldly desires or sexual pleasures outside marriage.

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We have sex to please our partners. And hey I’m Muslim and I love sex with my husband 😃. The only time we don’t have sex is when I’m on my period or if I’m feeling unwell , otherwise I’m always down .

@Chloe acting all ghetto the and full of disrespect.If you need clarity you can discuss but shameless to come in with hate.Here is the question for you where do you get your morality from and what religion do you follow explain yourself

guys, i cant see what this person is saying anymore as i've reported all her comments when she was replying to me, but i dont think we should entertain it because it seems like shes not here to acc learn with an open mind, she could even push our muslim sisters away and others who are looking into our religion by misinterpreting just block or report her

@Chloe we can all agree that it’s wrong for the OP to feel pressured by her husband she wanted some advice for some clarity on the Islamic rulings and to have her feelings validated but you came on here (your first comment was fine) and disrespected our religion. I’ve explained a little in my comments but you seem to not want to understand so at this point it’s best you just leave it.

@Chloe so you don’t follow a religion hence you have no ground in any shape or form to be telling others to what to do and on top of draw your opinion that doesn’t really matter.For you there is no concept of morality and you do not know right or wrong.And no you not allowed to do what you want in a muslim women chat section.Everyone should report you for harassing and hate and I advise the sisters here to do the same

@Chloe I didn’t say it was about me , but your spewing your hate so I’m just giving you my example. And the woman in the post has every right to be angry and hurt . We are not agreeing with what her husband has done . Again an example for many Muslim women if it was me I wouldn’t go near my husband if he said hurtful things . And Muslim men have to treat their wives with respect and kindness in all aspects of life .

@Rallii report her sister

@Safia report her sister

Looks like she’s been taken off .

@Safia saaame.. girl if I’m not in the mood, my husband makes me in the mood. That’s what husbands are for. Also, a good man will make you want to have sex with him.

@Imane 💯❤️

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