Mum guilt

I’m having really bad mum guilt, I have a 17 month old boy and 9 week old baby girl, I’m feeling really bad mum guilt for my daughter as my little boy is a terror, I’m constantly chasing after him stopping him from doing things, I’m waiting to get paid to help with some of the things he’s doing like opening doors as he’s just learnt to do this, as I would keep the kitchen door shut so he wouldn’t go in the cupboards but now he can open doors he goes in the kitchen opens all the cupboards, pulls everything out and puts things in the bin which he never used to be able to get to because he couldn’t open doors, turning the hob handles ( oven turned off at wall) Playing with the washing machine (turned off ally wall unless being used) so I’m now constantly running around after him, before he could open the doors it wasn’t so bad but I’m worried my daughter is going to get a flat head as I’m always having to put her down, I can’t do any tummy time with her unless my son is napping and then I try do as much as I can with my daughter but if she’s sleeping I can’t do it with her, I feel like any time I try and give her attention I have to put her down to tend to my son who’s causing havoc in the space that I am trying to give my daughter attention, I just don’t know what to do I feel like I’m constantly with my son and my daughter doesn’t get anything from me, she also just had her jabs yesterday so she’s been more unsettled and in the mixed of trying to tend to her my sons trashing my flat, I just feel like a really 💩 mum atm, I know it’s very early to say but I believe my son may have ADHD as he never sits still, I feel like he never eats enough because when he has meals most of it goes on the floor, he snacks all the time but will throw those on the floor too, he’s a nightmare at bedtime and doesn’t go to sleep until 9/10/11 at night because I put him in his cot to go to sleep and he’s constantly jumping screaming banging on the walls, I’m shattered with having a 9 week old baby girl who’s up every 4 hours and then my sons awake at 9/10am, I just feel like I’m doing a really shitty job at 2 under 2, Sorry for such a long rant, I don’t really know what I wanted from the post but to get it off my chest, thank you for reading till the end if you got that far x
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He also doesn’t say any words yet apart from mum constantly, sometimes more sometimes again and that’s about it, how can I improve his speech as I’ve been trying and nothing is working x

Don't feel bad it's really hard adjusting to the 2 under 2 and it sounds like you're alone with both most of the time Knowing is half the battle, if you feel you're constantly putting your baby down, make a way to have her up. Wear her in a carrier, sit her upright. Your son, tire him out! Take him outside ever single day once in the morning and once after nap. Shadow him super closely so he has less opportunities to get into things. My toddler is rarely in another room from me and baby. Give him less screen time, my toddler was acting crazy after I had my new baby since he had more screen time. Make sure he has no juice at all, ever. Plan activities that require him sitting. Allow opportunities for him to be wild and free in bursts. Let him 'help' the new baby learn to crawl during tummy time Remember this is a phase and not a stamp on your motherhood. You got this!

Lol... I'm sorry, I know it is not funny but this is the exact thing I'm going through. My son is also 17 months old and my daughter is 6 weeks. My son is a complete terror. Neighbors has called police on us twice! Cos he is constantly stomping and banging things. He turns on the gas stove now and does several others things that I'm not even ready to start listing here. He doesn't talk yet as well but understands everything I say. I just take it all one day at a time. I'm sure this will pass. Stay strong Mama.

My daughter is 17 months and my son is 7 weeks. My daughter starts misbehaving more when she’s bored I’ve noticed so I try and get out the house after breakfast time (which sometimes is a massive battle in itself as we haven’t got stair gates up yet and she’s learned to climb the stairs and I’m terrified she’s going to fall down them so makes it hard to get ready). I would invest in some child locks for your doors. Maybe a stair gate? I also get worried my son will have a flat head as I feel once I’ve fed him I constantly end up just putting him down, but when they’re laid on your tummy that’s still tummy time! Maybe if you try go on a walk use a carrier for your baby? Luckily my daughter has nursery twice a week so I have two days to spend with just him. You could try giving him his meal closer to the floor, like a picnic, that might encourage him to eat more (obviously depends how messy it is!)

Also I’ve seen videos on tiktok about kids being high energy and activities to do before bed to help reset the nervous system. Things like throwing a weighted cushion or something onto the floor, punching a pillow, things like that. Maybe have a look and see if you could try any, just to get a bit of energy out of him before bed so it makes it easier?

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