One-sided conversations

I'm getting very disheartened trying to make fellow female friends, especially here. I'm a first time mom and I really crave(d) someone I could just talk to that understands. Share funny memes, maybe meet up and have a zoo day or a walk, even just keeping it online would be fine. I try really hard to connect with people. But it seems like every time I put myself out here and try, the other women only want to talk about themselves and are only interested in me asking about them. If I say anything about me they completely shut down or even just ghost me flat out. They are fine with me giving them all this interest, but the moment it's not about them they get bored of me. I don't have friends except a few long term online friends. So I am very conscious and make an effort to try to get to know the person because that's how I'd like to be treated, you know? But trying to talk to people here makes me feel like I'm not worth their time. I just don't get it. Sometimes they even message me first but it ends up like they only wanted to use me for attention and never really had any interest in being friends at all.
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You won’t be compatible with every woman you talk to and that’s okay 🤷🏽‍♀️ it’s all trial and error no matter how/where you try to make friends. I’m down for a chat if you want tho, feel free to message me :)

@Alexis I do understand just being plain incompatible. I never expected to be everyone's cup of tea of course. It just feels hurtful, especially when it's every single person so far. I just don't get what's so incompatible about "Oh I like XYZ too!" The whole conversation dies as soon as I stop putting all the effort and attention on them

I think the older you get it becomes so hard to have actual conversations with people sometimes online. In person it can be so much easier for the conversation to flow verses text. I've had the same issue as you a few times. I try to just let it roll off and if it's not going anywhere it just isn't. It's nothing personal it just happens and just keep moving on. I would defiantly keep putting yourself out there if that's something you want to do until making conversation with someone is fulfilling but also just effortless.

@Sarah Thank you for being so understanding. I try to just say forget it and use the app for reading posts. But I really don't have any women to talk to in my life and I still wish I could find some. So when I see someone who seems cool I try again and it's just the same. It hurts a lot but I keep trying and it just makes me feel like garbage. I don't want to delete it because I do like some parts of this app and it's the closest thing to a community I really have

I'm sorry you've had that kind of interaction. You're not alone though. I've desperately wanted to make a friend off here. Someone to chat with, go browsing stores with, and just literally any kind of outings. A friendship shouldn't be one sided. I love a friend who vents, and needs advice. I miss the closeness of having a friend to just be myself with and hangout with. It's hard though. I've been on this app since before my son was born, and I've met zero people. Why is it so hard to make friends these days? I would say to not get discouraged, and to keep trying. You never know when you'll meet someone that you just click with.

I completely understand. My family is insanely small and so is my friend group. If you ever want to reach out and talk feel free to message me. I know meeting people and just talking to people can get harder the older we get. I most definitely would try to not let it get to you. It reflects them more than it reflects you.

@Irene I hate that you've been through the same thing, but it does feel a little better to know others have similarities. I don't know why it has to be so hard. I'd feel a bit better if things didn't fizzle out as soon as I mention myself, but I guess I should be grateful they didn't waste my time further. It just started to feel like there's someone wrong with me that they don't even want to acknowledge me

I feel u and which is why I stay on too and all women need to talk. So message me anytime

It could be that they don’t check this app often, mine never sends me notifications for whatever reason so I tend to forget to check for messages so I started sending over my social media so I can stay in touch better :£) I’m not sure if you’re local to me or a similar age but if you did want to chat I’d be happy to send you my social media through messages here if you like :) x

Yep it can be tough on here, I'm finding! I especially don't get it when someone messages me first and then I respond back, ask them something about themselves, and that's the end of it haha. How could I have gone so wrong in 3 short sentences? Anyway, feel free to message me. I'll talk about myself but I'll also ask you about yourself and try to get to know you (it's an insane concept, I know)!

Please shoot text here and we can connect :)

Thank you everyone who has offered to chat with me. You guys are really sweet and I wasn't expecting that. TBH, I've psyched myself out and now I'm kind of anxious to contact anyone right now. Cruel irony, right? But maybe soon I'll have some confidence again and try

Maybe the solution is to take it off the app- be insta friends where it’s easy to send memes. :)

Also, I think most mom friends are just dang busy. Maybe just keep messaging… but what worked for me (back in the days when I would online date) is moving the conversation to daily subjects instead of general or generic ones. See if this works and then report back- instead of “oh, you like that too?!” Try things like “oof, I just had a rough day. Can I tell you about it?” I don’t know, I’m guessing.

We can connect on insta! 🥹

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Try today for free
Scan the QR code and join the app
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Download Peanut to connect with women at a similar stage in life.


Trusted by 5M+ women


There is def nothing wrong with you. So...i have a guy friend, and bc of his personality.. he just really doesn't have many friends. So whenever we chat on the phone, he's ALWAYS talking about himself, and whenever i start to mention myself, he always seems occupied or just never really asks about what's going on in my life. I don't really get mad at it. So because he doesn't have any friends to talk to, he just vents about himself to me, bc he has nobody else to talk to about himself. He literally calls me his therapist lol. Maybe one of the people you met were going through the same thing? Most of us are on here bc we want to connect and meet someone... most don't have friends outside of their home to just vent to.

Honestly this is just how most people are. It takes a lot to find and weed out people who take interest in you too. While it's a lot of work, it's worth it to at least feel the vibe out of anyone who has any similarity with you. It might not hurt to even express that to those you talk to, especially if they end up ghosting you anyway, or they could realize that they have been self centered. I wish you luck in finding at least a few people you can share your time with (online or in person) ❤️

If you ever need to vent, chat, play games (if that's something you do) let me know 😊

I feel the same way ive had conversation with people near my area and some of them just dont even try to have a conversation its like they expected you to make all the effort and dont even have good conversations anyway like speak for one day as soon as the conversation over they never speak again, i havent had my baby yet but im obsessed with buying things and sharing everything im trying to do ready and idk feels like im too much like they dont know what to say or dont want to say anything

It is so hard and I feel the exact same. You are worth people's time and you just have to keep trying darlin 💕 if it helps any, I'm in this momma group chat on snapchat and they all so lovely and funny. Always so helpful and full of advice too, feel free to message me xx

I have the same experience here. Most people just ghost me after a short conversation. I’m a single first time mom with few friends but most of them don’t have kid. Feel free to message me if you want someone to chat.

Totally get it. I haven’t been on here much but I’ve made attempts and it goes nowhere. I like to talk…lol, and very much so interested in gaining new mom friends so I’m here if you’d like to chat.

I've been experiencing a lot of the same. I ask a lot of questions and am genuinely curious about people and their story but some people just don't know how to communicate, it seems lol. And they hide behind busy-ness...which I get. We're all busy moms. Some are also trying to stretch their comfort zones like I was when I first came on. They just need grace. My inbox is always open. I specifically carve out time in my day to come on and chat and add value where I can...except on weekends lol. Say hi!

I have a good back and forth, but it does eventually die out. Sorry you feel no one cares to ask about you. How are you feeling today?

@Skyla It helped to make this thread and see that it's more common than I thought. I'm not having the best day today but I'm trying not to be a downer about it and just focus on myself and baby. Thank you for asking. I hope you're having a really nice day yourself!

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