Is my relationship dead in the water?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, we share a house together and have a daughter. We had an argument this morning over something so trivial but it's led me to telling him how I feel, that our relationship is one sided, and that one side comes from me. This is probably really petty, but last night when putting my daughter to bed, I fell asleep (we have to lay next to her for her to sleep). It was the euros semi final which I'd wanted to watch. I'd been asked to work and turned it down, so I could watch it with my boyfriend. Anyway, I fell asleep, missed the entire game, and my partner came up at the end and said "you missed a good game." I know it's technically my fault I fell asleep, but I just think if he wanted to watch it with me he would've come and woken me. Instead he sat and had a few beers on his own and watched it. I should have worked! Over the years I've constantly had to remind him to give me a cuddle from time to time and he just doesn't. Ever. I try and flirt with him occasionally but it's not reciprocated, and I always try and cuddle him on the sofa but it's a chore for him - he always complains he's I've given up. This morning the argument was that I couldn't find any clothes for our daughter to wear today (we have a huge pile of washing that just hasn't been sorted) and I feel like with everything else playing on my mind I just exploded and questioned why is it always ME who has to find her clothes? But I don't think this was really the issue on my mind. I think it was more like, why is it always ME making an effort in our relationship? He never asks me about myself, just about our daughter. I always ask him about work, his hobbies etc. He also has zero sex drive which has always been an issue in our relationship and would rather watch porn, though he never explicitly admits this, I'm not stupid. He claims I'm horrible to be around, and I have probably been snappy recently, because I'm feeling like this. I've also stopped putting in any effort, which is maybe a contributing factor to his opinion. Albeit, I've put on some weight since we begun our relationship, so maybe he's just repulsed by me, but if that's the case then maybe he ought to just end things with me. I would like to lose some weight but equally I deserve to be loved for who I am. Thank god for our precious daughter.
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Sometimes when you start giving too much in relationships the other partner ends up taking you for granted. You need to keep busy go out with friends sometimes turn his plans down if he makes any and show your not bothered with his behaviour when he sees this change in you and realises your giving him the same treatment maybe he might realise. Men just think women are drama queens but they don’t realise these little things mean a lot.

It sounds like you could both do with learning how to communicate properly to one another and also to discuss the deeper problems in your relationship such as no sex etc. so couples counselling in this instance would be beneficial. It sounds like there has been a huge disconnect between you both and resentment and disrespect has slowly creeped in. If he wouldn’t be willing to go, yea your relationship is pretty much over so start thinking about your exit plan. FYI - weight should never be an issue. If you want to lose weight, do it for YOU, and not because you think your partner is “repulsed” by you. I think you also need individual therapy because it seems you have a lot of deep-rooted issues which affect your self-esteem more than you realise. It will also help you to avoid getting into bad relationships in the future.

@Neena Thank you. I don't think he would be up for couples therapy, nor could we afford it. The same for individual therapy. I do know my self worth, I just don't like how I look at the moment and I need to change it but also I just don't have the time when looking after a toddler all the time to exercise, prepare healthier food, and so on. I suppose I want to make this work for our daughter and also I obviously do love him, but feel like it's a friendship/roommate situation at the moment.

Falling into a rut is common. I think it’s fixable if you both want to. My ex and me decided to break up though and co parent when we went through this. It’s been 4 years still not together

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