Self settling

How do you teach baby to self settle without having to let them cry because that will break my heart? He used to go off on his own with a comforter and dummy but not anymore I rock him to sleep each time he wakes x
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You can't, it's a developmental thing. It happens when they're ready x

We’re using a really gentle approach. I used to feed to sleep but now we feed earlier in her bedtime routine so I moved onto cuddle and rocking her to sleep and then putting her down asleep. When she was doing well with that approach I moved onto cuddling and rocking her until she was almost asleep and then putting her down and lots of patting and shushing until she fell asleep. When she did well with that I’ve now moved onto cuddling her until she’s calm but still awake and now I put her down drowsy/awake and just put my hand on her tummy and hold her hand until she goes off to sleep. She has a small bunny and a dummy too and when she wakes at night if it’s not time for a feed, if she’s not too upset I always give her back her dummy and re-settle her the exact same way in just a hand on the tummy and holding her hand - usually she goes straight back to sleep. If she ever cries/gets upset if the hand holding isn’t enough I always pick her up and cuddle her until calm again x

Eventually I’ll move to just a hand holding, then when she’s doing well with that just being next to her and shushing her and then eventually moving slightly further away. But as I say, if she ever gets upset and the re-settling the same was as I got her to sleep doesn’t work I never let her cry it out, I always pick her up and cuddle her until she’s okay again x

@Angharad I will try this thankyou! I don't mind doing it but I see so many people say their babies are self settling and I don't want to be failing him but not showing him how. @Amy thankyou happy to carry on as we are I just wanted to make sure I'm not missing teaching him something x

Sometimes that can protest a little as it’s a change but I’ve found the slow approach hasn’t upset her much at all and if she wasn’t ready we wouldn’t move onto the next stage yet! I always worried that we were behind because we had friends babies self settling and sleeping through the night at 12 weeks but have found there’s just no benefit to comparing. They’re all so different and do things at their own pace, we’re just there to help them along! Good luck🤍

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