Big dog around baby?

Am I in the wrong? My mum and step dad have a huge dog of which it is a banned breed. I have a 3 month old and I go back to work next week as my maternity leave is over. My mum has 6 weeks off as she works in a preschool so offered to help out with childcare. My fiancé and I discussed it and decided we didn't want our little one in the house with that dog due to him previously having bitten people, pulled both my mum and step dad over while on a walk and harmed them and also attacked our little Jack Russell so much so that when I intervened he bit me and my nail came off while I was pregnant. My mum was obviously upset and made it out like it was her I didn't trust of which we explained no it's just the size of the dog which is the issue as no matter what you tried you would not have the strength to get him off the baby. My stepdad though sent the most arsey message claiming I was the worst person ever, it is ridiculous, I've crushed my mum's dream, I am not letting her be a Nanny, the dog is lovely it's nothing to do with him, how dare I etc. I said to my mum at the start of this conversation that I still wanted her to spend time with Otis but could she come and look after him at my house or take him out for the day etc just not take him back to her house. The whole situation has broken my heart, am I in the wrong at all? Would you put your baby in the situation?
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You are not wrong at all. Even if it was smaller or not banned or a different breed… whatever. This is your baby and you have to do what you’re comfortable with against whoever. I’m so sorry this is happening :( My mother in laws standard poodle is lovely and I love him but when he gets excited he jumps and nudges. So they know I’m not comfortable with him getting to close to my baby.

You are absolutely right. I would be exactly the same. Someone once said to me “dogs might usually be fine- but you dont know the day it has a head ache”.. and its forever stuck with me.. You only get one chance. Follow your gut mamma. Your mum might be upset in the moment but if she really wants to spend time and be nanny she will follow your wishes as mummy.. if not it really is her loss. X

Honestly, no you’re not in the wrong here. If the dog has previously done that to people then you are doing what’s best for you little one by not wanting them to be around the dog. Plus who’s to say the dogs not going to get jealous with little one being there and attacking your little one, yes it might never happen but no one can see into the future

You’ve made a decision based on the safety of your son and you have proof that this dog could cause harm. The offer to care for him at your house is still there - your stepdad shouldn’t even try and make you feel guilty If anything happened to your baby they would never forgive themselves. You’re doing the right thing.

No you are not in the wrong I have a Great Dane who has never harmed anyone and he is never left alone with my children no matter what and that’s my own friendly dog!

@Haven thank you 💕. We have a Jack Russell who is so tiny and I explained that I don't even trust him 100%, I never leave him alone with the baby etc

@Amy thank you. Exactly, we have a Jack Russell in the house and I don't trust him even though he wouldn't hurt a fly because you never know what can flick that 'kill switch'

@Karen this is one of our worries and he is so protective of my mum, what happens when the baby is uncontrollably crying and he thinks the baby is gonna hurt my mum

@Dianne thank you, the message from him really felt like a guilt trip and that I was being ridiculous about the whole thing

@Lucy no your being a Mum and making a decision that’s best for your child. Sorry but they need to respect your boundaries and not make it about themvv

@Ashley you just never know do you, even if this dog was not doing anything spitefully and just sat on the baby it'd be game over and I don't want to even think about it

Not wrong at all, the dog definitely doesn’t sound safe and not worth the risk at all when your mum could just come to yours. Your mum should know this!

You are 100% in the right If she wants to watch your daughter she can come to yours. The dog has shown time and time again it can turn Regardless don’t trust any dog with a baby - and especially banned breeds or aggressive dogs It takes one second for the whole world to change and I really believe you have to do what you can live with

Not a chance would I have my children around their dog with the behaviours it has demonstrated in the past, especially without me there, and it’s pretty surprising they’re not on the same page about this one. Tbh even if it was the best behaved dog in the world I still probably wouldn’t as you never know what could happen. Don’t let their feelings override your decision! You are putting your son’s safety first and that’s absolutely the right way to go with this.

@Robyn it's hard isn't it because it's their dog they kind of have a blindness to it and it can 'do no wrong' in their eyes

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@Leigh thank you, it's just so hard to see my mum upset especially when my stepdad decided to emphasize the fact I have 'crushed all her dreams and she can't stop crying'

They own a banned breed that has caused harm to people before…what are they not getting? I love my dog but at the end of the day they are animals and if they’ve got teeth they can bite and your son should be priority. Why can’t she watch him at your house? She would never forgive herself if the worst happened.

@Elle I'm so glad it's not just me thinking all these things, the whole situation is so shit

We had the same issue. My partners mum and dad had to take on our cocker spaniel, as she became aggressive towards my son when he was born, and she was really possessive. We didn’t want her put down so they offered to take her for us. But because of this, I didn’t want his parents having our son at their house. Which obviously caused issues because it was like they had to choose between the dog or our son. We only went round their house while we were with our son so we could supervise the interactions between him and the dog x

You are absolutely not in the wrong. The dog is clearly dangerous and it sounds like they don't have full control of it either. If it's a banned breed are they even allowed to keep it as a pet? (Genuine question as I don't know the ins and outs of banned breeds). You are putting the safety of your baby first which is absolutely the right thing to do and it's ridiculous anyone would question or challenge that.

@Megan did everything settle down in the end and they understood why or is it still an ongoing problem?

@Rebecca they are allowed to keep it as a pet but they had to register it so the police know there is one in their house I believe. Thank you x

You are 100% doing the right thing. I’m a dog person but would never allow my baby around dogs, let alone one with a history!! Stick to your guns, it’s not worth risking it at all.

Protect your baby! If that damn dog mauls your son none of the “ I’m so sorry” will heal your broken heart. It’s a safety concern period. They should understand. My friend is looking for additional work and I had no problem paying her to keep my son untilllll he oldest son brought a Pitt Bull over. It’s in a cage too small and huge for its age. I had to tell her nevermind. Nobody in that household would be able to save baby if dog decided to attack. Don’t feel bad about your decision. Protect your child! If they really want to see and spend time with their grandchild, they will on the terms safe for everyone

I would 100% not leave my baby around that dog and I don’t think I’d be happy visiting you mum unless the dog was in another room - he sounds far too unpredictable to be safe around children!

I don’t understand how this is even a discussion or why your are questioning yourself. It’s a hard no. no discussion, no second thoughts, no explanation. I’d rather not my baby bitten maybe to death to appease feelings of a clearly delusional woman. I also wouldn’t ever trust her to look after my child if she acted this way.

@Lucy sounds like your mum is making this more about her than you or your baby- which is sad but the reality if she wants the nanny role enough, she will do the right thing and follow your boundaries. As for your step dad id be sending him reports of babies mauled by dangerous dogs - dogs that had been “well behaved” until that day.. sadly there are plenty around-and tell him you and your family are not being the next statistic so they either respect you and your wishes or do not have involvement with your baby unless you are there and get to chose the environment.. and get finding a good nursery- the right setting really can offer a great start for your little one😘 The more i think about this the more i feel sad you are put in this position as a mum/ daughter and angry that your mum and step dad seem to see no risk- from a dog with previous harmful history- which is even more alarming!! Stick to your guns mamma! I hope all these comments help reassure you to do so x

I would 100% not leave my baby with any dog let alone the dog you just described. Sounds like your mum needs to get rid of that dog.

The best decision is to prevent your baby from danger which I appreciate. But I feel your parents are a bit selfish for being on the dog's side and not the baby’s safety.

No dog should be left with a small child. You're not in the wrong at all.

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Someone in my family has a big dog that is a banned breed, LOVELIEST, friendliest dog ever! Never attacked a human nor an animal, been around children before, super cuddly etc etc & yet I still don’t want my babies round him… We know how unpredictable dogs can be and it’s just not worth the risk in my opinion, stand your ground x

@Emily we have only been round there house once since he has been born and that was in the garden for a BBQ when there was about 30 people there and I still wasn't that comfortable with it

@Geana we thought the same, surely she wouldn't have put me in that position when I was a baby

@Amy thank you I really appreciate this reply. The way they have reacted it seems it was never even a consideration which we wouldn't want him round him which to my is mind boggling

@Saff that's the thing isn't it, they could be okay around the baby 99 times but if they snap on the 100th it's not even bearable to think about

I would turn it around on them and say “How dare you! Knowing his past history of biting people and you still think it’s okay to have him around baby? Maybe I’m right in not trusting your judgement. How irresponsible of you!” I mean, that’s probably what I would say because honestly! It makes me so angry when people do that. Making you feel guilty for putting your child’s safety before others’ feelings.

@Lucy I don’t blame you! They’re really letting you and your baby down by putting you in this position! Xx

@Christa the guilt trip really hurt me because I am not doing it to be an arsehole it was a horrible decision that we had to make and they are making it out like we don't care

Honestly you are not in the wrong, if they can't see and understand your concerns over the dog who has been known to be aggressive, then they need to have a read of all the articles on dogs attacking babies/children! You are well within your right to keep your baby safe regardless if you hurt anyone's feelings your baby comes first! I got a chocolate lab and 2 under 2, my dog is so gentle with them, never shown signs of being aggressive but I never leave him alone with the children not for 1 second if I leave the room the dog comes with me as its easier than taking the 2 xx

@Lucy we actually ended up having the dog put down. She was quite aggressive and just got more and more possessive. We didn’t want to re home her incase she was aggressive with her new home x

@Bethan I'm the same with my Jack Russell, he has to come with me into whatever room I am, he's not being left with the baby and he couldn't care less about him being there haha

@Megan oh no 💔. There's no way my mum and stepdad would even entertain that idea

Somehow I’m still a huge dog person but when I was 2 my babysitter failed to disclose to my parents that her St. Bernard had a history of biting people and he ended up biting me causing me to have to get plastic surgery at the ripe old age of 2 to fix Where he ripped my face open and severed part of my ear from my head. I’ve also been bit by my grandparents dachshund when I was 8 and he had a history of not being good with kids. I 100% think you’re doing the right thing. Especially because this dog has a past of biting people. My first memory is literally the St. Bernard coming at my face and then me being at the hospital and it’s still really scary to think about, you gotta protect your baby from being physically and emotionally scarred and if your mom needs to respect that

@Lucy it was literally our last resort. We searched into everything. We got her tested at the vets and they said she had a mental condition, and the aggressive behaviour was only going to get worse x

@Mikaela my goodness I'm so so sorry this happened to you 💔. How scary!

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I make my fellas dad put his big dog in the garden while we are visiting if you don’t feel safe around such a big animal where your child is concerned and people are not willing to either accept it or work around it then that’s their problem not yours you have set your boundaries they need to respect them wether they agree with them or not x

We have a large dog. She is the sweetest. I grew up around large dogs. I would say large dogs are not the problem. It’s the behavior of the dog that is the problem. It sounds like your mom is taking it to be a personal issue rather than a safety issue. She thinks you don’t trust her to protect the baby around the dog type thing. My MIL did the same thing. They have small dogs (which I’m not partial to because I have only ever been attacked by small dogs, especially jack Russells) and one of their two dogs had attacked multiple people, snapped at my nephew and bit him so badly we had to pry her mouth off and she proceeded to attack me while I was trying to get her off. We were very specific that if we were there with the baby that the dog be put away because of her behavior. My MIL took a huge offense to it claiming that we didn’t trust her. She got over it eventually and now we have two littles and when we are there the dog is put away. It took months though for it to be okay.

I will also say I don’t leave my child alone with our dog even though she is sweet. I still keep an eye on them.

My husband doesn't want his parents dogs around our baby either. They are getting to see him closer now that he is older

Size doesn't matter. With the dogs biting, attacking your dog, and biting you. I wouldn’t let my kid anywhere near the dog.

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