Babydaddy Drama

My bd have been together for 8 years. We broke up at the end of July last year and he started taking to someone right after. She ended up pregnant September, he tells her to get an abortion and he wants nothing to do with her… Fast forward 2024 him and I are back together and she has the baby he signs the paperwork for the baby to get adopted. And he’s saying that he doesn’t really care about the baby and he only signed the paperwork for me, because I told him I want nothing to do with him if he keeps the baby. Mind you not he so says he has no contact with the girl he got pregnant. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago…. He shows me a picture of the baby and tells me idk y they sent me a pic of him because “ I don’t care about what I don’t take care of”..: but mind you not he said he saw the girl that he got pregnant brother and exchange numbers. Then you know how iMessage tells you on top of the picture who sent it right. And it was from the girl who he saw he doesn’t have contact with anymore, then says “Yea that’s how I get pictures of my son”. But all of a sudden that’s his son now?… nvm What should I do because I’m in the middle of grimness.
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Investigate… a lot of men be lying.

That’s a whole mess. If he DOES want to see his son and you don’t want him to, this isn’t going to work out in the long run. And lying about having contact with baby mama is even more sus… leaving seems like the easiest option here

@Chloe Him and I have a 5yr old daughter and I don’t mind him getting pictures of his son but what he not going to do it keep saying “ I don’t care about what I don’t take care of” all I did was tell him if he keeps that child I want nothing to do with him, due to the bm, I’m a non-confrontational type of person and his bm would disturb my peace. I don’t see it as being selfish or anything but at the end of the day it was his decision to sign them papers for that child to get adopted

It was 100% his decision but let’s not act like you didn’t influence it.

Also, would you not want your daughter to have a relationship with her sibling?

@Chloe I didn’t help him make that decision nor was it my idea it was the bm idea sooooo… I don’t have a problem with him getting pictures from the adoptive parents but at the end of the day I had nothing to do with their decision nor did I influence their decision🤷🏽‍♀️

@Chloe I don’t even know the adoptive parents but I HAVE influenced him and go so the child but he doesn’t want to

You influenced HIS decision by telling him you wouldn’t be with him if he didn’t give the baby up, I’m not saying you made him do it at all but you can’t say you had no part.

@Chloe At the end of the day if I were him “I would have told me, “You can leave or stay” so no I didn’t influence the decision he made his own decision

You gave him an ultimatum which is literally directly influencing his decision. It was HIS decision at the end of the day but you put your two cents in. You aren’t the brightest loool goodluck in your messed up relationship. Hopefully your daughter gets to meet her sibling one day peace ✌🏼

@Chloe I really don’t think so lmaoo but if you say so🤷🏽‍♀️

It’s a mess and it’s wrong that you don’t want him to be a dad to his kid. Girl leave him

Hey- this sounds identical to my situation. Me and BD had been together 7 years, we have 2 kids. We broke up, he started talking to someone, she ended up pregnant. He told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby blah blah blah. Fast forward babyboy is here and I… MEANING ME… had a decision to make for me and my kids. He was lying just like your BD. Very much in the little boys life and lying in attempts to appease me. Either I could leave or stay and accept that baby whom has NOTHING TO DO WITH GROWN FOLKS BUSINESS GIRL! The baby is a reminder of that time in y’all’s relationship… but HE made a decision…. And YOU as a women should understand that women and her pro choice to keep her baby is no one’s business….. not even yours sis! I’m just talking to you the way I wish someone would’ve spoken to me. You don’t know what he’s told or experienced with this other women, you and her have two different realities with this one man! U know the answer to ur own question girl.

You can go off the deep end…. But that’s not the vibe u want for yourself! And ur daughter… that’s still her dad… there’s not a ton of options here. Either u stay and ask to know the whole truth. U can ask to meet the girl or baby which could go either way, or u can stay and let that man parent his child and be stressed each and every time u know he with her or that baby! Or u can take time for urself…. Like as much time as u need to figure out what’s best for u!! Your daughter has a sibling and I’m sure she’ll be an amazing big sister! As the situation unfolds it’s gunna get a lil ghetto…. But it will get better! U got this!

I understand what you’re saying. They aren’t together, him and I are. The bm nor does he have any parental rights over the child. I encourage this dude to contact the adoptive parents by all means. He has the adoptive parents information I always encourage him to at least text them to see how the child is doing. But he’s stuck on the “I’m not worried about what I’m not taking care of”. After all of this he so says he blocked the bm. And since he recently got some pictures of the child from the bm through adoption parents if you’re not worried about the child then why say “this’ the only way I get pictures of my son”?

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All I’m asking is what should I do in the grimy situation? I have no ill feelings towards anyone but it’s like why lie?

Wow this is really hurtful for the child …. Sometimes we need to put our own emotions to a side as an adult when an innocent child is involved. This is really heartbreaking. I hope the baby gets adopted by someone truly loving.

I would have left him as soon as he said he didn’t care about the other child. What do you mean you pick and choose what child to love based on who their mum is? Thats very conditional love and I don’t want that…

@Jodie I haven’t physically seen the adoptive parents but I’ve seen pictures of the adoptive parents and they are so happy to have that baby❤️ I have no problem with my daughter meeting the sibling but I have any type of contact with the adoptive parents

That’s good, I’m just saying is this someone you want to be with? If he picks and chooses what child to love and can give up one of his own little babies- what do you think he will do with you? Would you give up your precious baby for a man?

@Jodie I understand where you’re coming from and it was not my idea of putting that baby up for adoption it was his bm’s decision regardless of the circumstances/situation. And I would never a man over my child, she ALWAYS comes before anything.

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