To terminate or not?

Obviously I know that I’m the only one who can make this decision but I would like to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar situation if you are willing to share? My baby is 3 months old, and I also have two older children. Today I have found out I’m pregnant again (I’m on contraception so this wasn’t a case of not trying to take precautions because we did). I dont know what to do about it. I don’t really want another baby, ever again. I’m very happy with the three I have and I find that I have the perfect number to give attention to/ be able to reasonably afford etc. I don’t enjoy maternity leave, and I currently don’t have a job to go back to due to a company I worked at going bust, so I won’t be able to get another job now I’m pregnant (I know they’re not allowed to discriminate, but they do, they just use a different reason so it doesn’t come back to bite them🤷‍♀️) But at the same time, thinking about getting a termination makes me really sad. I’m not against it for other people, but it’s something I never thought I would do. I don’t want to do something that I may regret even if it’s years down the line. I will only be about 3/4 weeks so I have a bit of time to make a decision but if anyone has been in a similar situation and is happy to share what they did, I would really appreciate it. If you are anti abortion and you’re going to be rude/ nasty about it, please scroll on.
Share Mobile
  • Share

Show your support

I think it all comes down to what gives you the most peace. Think about your life and future. Will you be able to live with yourself if you had an abortion? Will you be able to adapt if you had another child?

I have a family friend who went through this. She chose to terminate, when I spoke to her about it she said it was a difficult decision and that she was sad but she knew it was the right choice for her and her situation. You have to evaluate your own situation. Would you be able to handle another baby, how would that affect your family, your finances. You say you don’t like being on maternity leave but how would you feel not having a job for a while. Another child might make finding a new job difficult. Then how would you feel about termination and how would that affect your mental health. There is a lot to consider and you would benefit from making a list of pros and cons so you can have everything laid out. Also whatever choice you make, afterwards, if you’re certain you do not want more children considering getting your tubes tied. My sister did it after her third so she won’t have to worry about potential future pregnancies.

I think you should not. Your kids will be best friends and they will grow up together. Just next time you can put a coil which doesn’t allow you to get pregnant up to 10 years or use contraceptive pills or any contraceptive way and you will be fine.

I have 5 kids, and I considered aborting one of them. Also something I never thought I’d even consider, it’s not for me. But I got pregnant by an extremely abusive man (he ended up in jail I’m happily married now) I was terrified. I ended up keeping my baby, I knew I could always live with the choice of a child that I obviously was going to love no matter what I wouldn’t regret my own child. But there was always a chance I’d regret that abortion. And that’s just ME personally. But I totally understand both choices and I don’t think either are wrong.

@Katerina🌹 she is taking the pill.

If it’s the best thing for you and your family, I would. It sounds like if you did keep the baby, it could cause you a lot of upset, and you and your little family don’t need that. It’s such a hard decision to make, and I’m sorry you are in this situation. I hope you make the right choice for you and your family xx

Just imagine both scenarios down the line as if it was real and think about which one hurts more then you’ll know what choice to make. Example 1: It’s one year from now, I had decided to terminate, and I now have my three children and we are coping just fine, but I’m still thinking about the baby from time to time. Example 2: It’s one year from now, I had decided to keep the pregnancy after all, we have 4 children, I’m not working and things are harder. Now which scenario do you think you can live with? Which hurts the most?

What does your partner think?

I found out I was pregnant again 2 and a half months after having my youngest. I totally freaked and had no clue how I was going to do it. What ruled abortion out for me was that I knew there was a chance I'd regret it later and I didn't want to live with the potential guilt. I feel like there is a much smaller chance of feeling guilty or regretting having the baby than if you were to terminate the pregnancy, regardless of how far along. I also feel the guilt would be way worse if it was after 5/6 weeks since that's when the heart starts to beat.

I had a termination a few years ago. I didn’t have any children at the time, and it just wasn’t the right time. I weighed up the pros and cons and for me and my husband it just simply wasn’t what we wanted or needed in our life right then. We did feel sad of course, we didn’t think we’d ever have to make that decision, majority of people who have a termination don’t. I did it at around 8 weeks. I don’t regret it at all. When I think about it now, I’m not sad. It was 100% the right decision for our family at that time and I don’t feel any sense of guilt. You’ll make the right decision for you 🤍

Read more on Peanut