AITA for not letting my husband touch me?
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It's not at all your fault for having this trauma and these triggers! Don't let anyone make you feel like it's your fault. You are entirely blameless here! You communicated what you needed and he crossed some lines. He seems to understand it's serious but I'd be expecting some heartfelt apologies on top. Maybe couples therapy to come up with a plan of how to move forward together (assuming you want to) and individual therapy for you. I hope you're doing ok xx
It isn’t your fault that you have triggers and trauma. That's on the guy from your first relationship, not you. You're not the asshole for communicating your boundaries and then distancing yourself and losing trust when your husband broke those boundaries.
I don’t think you’re an asshole. There’s work to be done on both sides. You need some therapy to help resolve your trauma and your husband needs to be stricter about respecting boundaries.
It’s not your fault. He crossed a boundary that you clearly communicated and thought it was funny. I have similar trauma that made me hyper sexual at first and now it hard for me to shut out flash backs and keep from shutting down if triggered. Your husband should be your safe person! Has he apologized? Also I’d recommend trying EMDR, it’s a type of therapy that’s geared towards PTSD and general trauma processing.
Not your fault!!!
Not the asshole at ALL!!! I don’t even have any sexual trauma’s, but if some guy I was with started pulling my hair during that, I would let him know REAL FAST that that was not going to fly with me. I’m sorry, but that move is NOTHING but a power move and an act of superiority. There is NO reason for it in my opinion (just my opinion folks. That’s fine if you disagree, but I’m allowed my opinion too). You made your boundaries VERY clear to him and he crossed them. Not acceptable. I would absolutely second whoever suggested couples counseling for this because he needs to know and understand just how fucked up what he did was and how he’s completely retraumatizing you. If he truly loves you, I would THINK that he would want to know just how deeply he just cut you and what he needs to do in order to make you feel safe with him again. Therapy can also help YOU figure out and understand what it is you need for you to feel safe sexually moving forward as well. Good luck!
Number 1 and the biggest here: YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT FOR THESE TRIGGERS AND TRAMUA. Who is at fault.... The *SSHOLE who assulted you sexually and forced you. That person is at Fault. The first guy you dated. He is at fault. So don't put that on yourself. Number 2: He crossed the boundaries you set. That is on him and he should 110% apologize and feel bad for how he treated you. You are by no means the AH here. You deserve to be treated with respect and have healthy boundaries that are respected. And to feel safe. You have every right tobe upset.
Nah, you're absolutely not. I also have similar traumas from previous relationships. Make a habit moving forward (assuming you can move forward) where if he crosses a line, which he KNOWS is a line, you stop the whole encounter. You cannot have good sex with someone you can't trust to listen to a basic instruction! Xx