Partner

So me and my parent have a 3 year old and a current 8 month old. I am severely irritable ALL the time I don’t want to touch him or anyone I feel so low and just the way I use too. I’m struggling with my relationship with him as it feels like I’m mothering my house mate, I don’t enjoy the sex like I use too either. He doesn’t help out enough with the kids or around the house I feel like I’m stuck in the 50s. Leave it all to the woman. He doesn’t make me feel loved or actually take me on a date or surprise me with anything and all I can think about is why doesn’t he? Does he actually care about me as he doesn’t bother to ask? Is there someone out there who would treat me properly? I thought it would all change and he would make an effort after having our first daughter and how much of a split we got through together. ( I found images and messages to random women off an porn app) I just feel so unappreciated. Saying this to him in many different ways for months but he just stays the same. I want change. What do I do?