Career Priorities
So, I’ve been struggling with something the better part of this year. My husband has made it pretty clear with his choices that his career goals are his top priority in life. He is very conflict avoidant but he finally said as much in an argument we had several months ago. I pushed him on the fact that he isn’t really spending enough time with his son as a father. He basically said I knew what I was signing up for when we got married because he is a firefighter and that is all he has ever wanted in life and that if I didn’t life how much time he spent pursuing those goals why did I marry him. There’s a lot of other context too, but I’m just struggling with how to cope with the fact that he may never be able to achieve his career goals as a firefighter because of some health issues he has although he has been a volunteer his entire life, he hasn’t been able to do it directly as a paid job and he might spend all of our family years pursuing that only to have to make a career change after too much damage has been done with neglect to our marriage and family. He makes good money at his job which is emergency response related and does a great job of supporting us financially at a job that is really hard for him. We have definitely grown a lot as a couple through our parenting journey so far.
Has anyone else dealt with this? I feel like this is such a stereotypical problem it’s embarrassing.
Idk I honestly feel like there’s a difference between wanting to reach goals in order to support his family and doing it bc it’s “what he always wanted to do” I’m all for personal goals, but if you’re not factoring your family into it, then that’s what’re it becomes a problem. Like, my husband is military and he has goals and ranks for his goals. But when he talks about it, it’s all about retirement for us and college for our babies and being able to provide more. Like love it, I’ll support ya 😂 But it’s never for personal reasons and all about everyone as a whole