Am I wrong?

I think to each their own. Do what you want. They can do whatever works for them during bath time.

I personally wouldn’t use the same bath water but has the 9 yr old considered taking showers? Could teach efficiency on how to shower and limit the time on that so water isn’t being wasted. Just a thought.

It's old school to do that.. the whole " don't throw the baby out with the bathwater".. personally, I think it's gross. Would you want to sit in an older brother's bath water?

Sharing bathwater is kinda gross though. Would you want to bathe in water someone else used? I know I wouldn't. I live in an apartment as well and they both take showers. My youngest gets some help while in the shower but the oldest whose 9 showers without assistance.

I personally think that’s unhygienic. I always think you should put yourself in their shoes - would you like to take a bathe in someone else’s bath water? My answer would personally be no.

To be honest my mum use to do this with me a child and I do it. Personally the step mum has no right to tell you how to raise your children and should keep her opinions to her self. Your children are yours. She can raise her children and do things in her home how she chooses but your children are your responsibility whilst in your care. I’m in same boat as you so please don’t let anyone tell you how to be a good parent.

I personally wouldn't use the same bath water since they are older, if they were babies/toddlers would be ok. But I agree, the 9 year old should be able to take showers. In fact both could be taking showers, we shower our 1 year old most days and my step daughter has been taking showers on her own since she's 7. But I don't think the step mum should be telling you how to parent, at the end of the day they are your kids. I never interfere in my step daughter's parenting unless it's something that affects me directly or my son. It's not her place to do that and I think you should tell your ex to tell her off

Your second child isn't getting clean. You are using dirty bath water for them and barely warm water. If you're worried about saving water then fill up a basin with warm water and use a cup. Use the cup to get water from the basin, rinse them off, they scrub up, then use the remaining water from the basin to rinse off. Then for the next child fill the basin again with new warm water. You will still be using less water than you would have filling a bathtub and both children get clean and warm water to bathe with. Plus this method helps prepare them for showers since they need to stand to fully scrub up and it makes it easier to rinse.

I wouldn't want to use second hand water, hence I wouldn't make my kids do it. Your daughter isn't getting clean when the water is already dirty and thats all sitting in her hair etc. If you're worried about conserving water, either get them to have showers, or if this isn't an option, alternate nights for them to have a bath, so one on a Saturday and one on a Sunday, or same day but afternoon and evening so the tank has time to reheat. For everyone saying the stepmom has no right, she does. Shes the one raising OPs children the 5 of 7 days. Shes the bonus parent who her children see. Shes also married to OPs ex, so not just a girlfriend either. This sounds like instead of coparenting, you and your ex are parallel parenting which isn't good for children. So in my opinion, sadly, yes I think you're wrong on this.

This is fine hun. Unless the 9 yr old is extra filthy one day, a normal day of life is not enough to cause that water to be gross. My 7 year old just used her 14 yr old sisters bath water two days ago. It was still hot and we were in a hurry. People get weird about stuff these days but people used to share bathwater through the entire family...its obviously not that unhygienic and awful or those families wouldn't have continued.... give me a break lol

This is how I was raised. We added hot water, but never fully refilled the tub unless the water was visibly gross. I never thought anything of it.

I wouldn’t do that as baths are generally just a pool of water so the dirt from the first child ends up in the second child’s bath - plus isn’t it cold for the second child ?

I personally wouldn’t do it especially if your boy is on the verge of starting puberty . Fresh always for each person

Is the water bill high in your state?