How would you handle this if you were in my shoes.

Is there any way you could do more speech therapy sessions or put her into a pre prek program for a few hours a week to appease them? I would say just stand your ground, but I don't know how much you can push before they push back

@Kylie pre-K in my city starts at 4, and it's free through the public schools. We do two two hour sessions a week for speech therapy. She's only been speech therapy a month. So yeah, there's not much improvement in a month. But she went from no words to 30 words in a month. And our pre-k programs are 8-2 5 days a week. I just don't feel she's ready for that. Oh and not to mention the child isn't potty trained yet anyway.

Oh, okay. Could you have the speech therapist tell them she's already improved quite a bit? And that if she continues, she will likely catch up? That might go along way

@Kylie they have. But there hell bent in her going to daycare or preschool. Because they think that will help improve her speech and social skills. My daughter plays at parks during the day, we go to the library three times a week. She loves playing with other kids. And still goes to mother's day out twice a week.

Early intervention is super important. If they think she needs more intense intervention I would listen. Are there other concerns other than speech? Is she hitting all other milestones or are they inquiring about a possible developmental delay?

@Daija she is in early intervention. She's in speech therapy twice a week for 2 hours. She's in early intervention. She's in mothers day out twice a week. She's not potty trained because she can't communicate to us. All other milestones are perfect. She's just speech delayed. I had her development evaluation as well. She's not developmentally delayed at all

Although I don't think you're neglecting her by not enrolling her, I'm not a speech therapist, and if they're pushing that hard for this, it's worth trying. If it does have a negative impact, they can't say you didn't try. I can only speak as someone who had selective mutism until I was 9. I came out of my shell when I joined girl scouts and made one close friend. It was the classic case of an extrovert "adopting" an introvert. I've also seen it happen in the daycare where I worked where a totally abled child became best friends with another little girl who had down syndrome. Kids communicate in a different way and can encourage communication in ways adults, even speech therapists, cannot.

I also wanna add. I work 5-11 4 days a week. I don't see the point in putting her in all daycare. She also has 2 year old brother, and they are attached to the hip. He would miss his play buddy during the day. And it's not like she doesn't get socialization. She's in a daycare environment twice a week with her brother. She's in speech therapy twice a week.

Can you request a different case worker? It seems this one isnt listening to the professional (speech therapist) and pushing his/her own ideals. Not from America so unsure how it works/ if you can request a new case worker

@Lauren I don't know if I can. I've never tried.

Why don’t you just send her a couple of days a week so it’s a mixture of what she might need to prepare for pre k and having her home as you prefer ?

@Jade she's already going to a program twice a week. Tuesday and thrusday. And then speech therapy twice a week

Personally, if I had an open CPS case I would be jumping through all the hoops and doing exactly what they suggest.

@Lisa so even if that goes against what I feel as her parent is better for her. And i don't have the money to put her in all day daycare or preschool. We don't qualify for Income based because there eyes I make too much. So, who's going to pay for it. My mil pays for the mothers day out program for both kids. But she can't afford to put the kids in daycare all day. They want her to be in daycare in hopes it improves her speech when she's already in speech therapy with professionalls.

I mean do you really have a choice when it comes to cps. If you don’t do what they request aren’t they able to take your child, especially when it comes to neglect. Idk I wouldn’t risk it. I’d do everything they ask. Yes it goes against what you want for her but would you rather lose your daughter over your parenting choices? You have to think about what’s more important here. They want you to put her in an all day daycare or an all day speech specifically daycare? If it’s just an all day daycare maybe try and apply there and see if you can work there while your daughter is there. Have you expressed to them that you don’t have the funds for that? Maybe they might be able to help if you’re willing to put her in day care. Talk to them about this if you haven’t

@Carol💗💙 its worth a go, especially if shes only been in speech therapy a month and honestly 0-30 words seems like a big jump in that time especially if the speech therapist is happy.

I think the reasons for her going outweigh the reasons you’ve given for her not going. Even if she’s doing different activities during the week, it’s not as long as she’d be spending at daycare. They really do soak up so much from being around other kids. 4x hours speech therapy and 2 x mother days day out (12 hours maybe?) compared to 30x hours of pre-k/ daycare that they’re suggesting is a big difference. If your daughter has made progress in a month imagine what she could do with so much more intensive support. And with things like potty training daycare can really help with that as she’ll likely see the older kids going to use the toilet and want to do the same. If she’s a bit behind then leaving it another year is only going to widen that gap between her and her peers and make the transition more difficult. What did they say when you said you couldn’t afford it? If it’s their recommendation and they’re really pushing it maybe there’s some additional funding available?

@Bre I can't work at a daycare. Because I'm the registry for having an open case. They put us on the child Mal treatment registry. They want her in any all daycare. They can't just take my kids solely because I won't put her in daycare. They can't do that. They already told me they can't do that. They just want to see some improvements in her speech. And she is improving. Just not at the rate. They want her to be. They think sending her to daycare will magically fix her speech delay. When the speech therapist has already seen major improvements It's not legal to just take kids because the mother doesn't want them in daycare. When she's already in a daycare twice a week.

@Sorrel they have no funding available until next August, and by then, she can start public school pre k. They told me I would have to pay out of pocket for the first year until funding was available. It's the caseworker saying she sees no improvements. This is the same caseworker who spends maybe 20 mins with my daughter once a week. Speech therapist is saying she's improving greatly

What have they actually said though when you’ve said you can’t afford it? How far are you from getting income support? Would it be worth cutting a few hours to qualify for it? How many days CAN you afford to send her to daycare? Would your MIL pay towards that instead of Mother’s Day group? I really does sound like it’s worth trying every option to make this work.

@Sorrel I'm the only one working. I can't pay rent or bills if I cut my hours. My mil has said and told them she absolutely can not pay for daycare for these children, and she won't. All they've said to me is okay, we can wait until funding is available in August of 2025. But by that time, she will be in public school pre k for free. I can afford zero I have $100 after all my bills are paid for. I live paycheck to paycheck I can't make it work because there's no money and I have no help from them. Just them saying what they think is best for her

@Carol💗💙 that does sound difficult if they’re insisting on daycare but offering no support to get her there. I don’t know how the US system works but doesn’t seem to make sense.

I don't know why you wouldn't want to get her better support if what's currently in place isn't working regardless of your feelings around childcare before 4. I understand hesitancy with that but if it's to benefit her then at least try

My Daughter is also in early intervention. CPS is stupid and have bloody no idea what they are talking about and needs to stay in their damn lane. Let the actual doctors and therapist determine what she actually needs.

@Jess you're missing the point. Her current place is working just fine and has since she was 2. She's in speech therapy. Cps thinks she's not improving, and her speech therapist says she is improving. And acuatally the case got opened because my fiance overdosed on drugs and the kids were home when it happened. Cps thinks, putting her in all day daycare is going to magically fix her speech delay. There is no benefit in putting her in all day daycare. Zero benefits to her. When she already in daycare and already In speech therapy

@Alyssa you get my point. The child is already in speech therapy. Putting her in all daycare isn't going to fix it.

@Carol💗💙 it's a misconception from people who haven't actually had to deal with certain speech delays. They think being in a daycare and around other kids magically helps, and even speech therapist agrees that it's actually worse for many cases. Daycares are not able to actually do what speech therapists need and recommend. The home environment and 1 on 1 are actually the best thing. Seeing all these comments goes to show how little most people know about speech therapy or CPS. CPS holds a special place in my life. They are not specialists, really in anything. But yet they hold too much individual power. It's stupid. I've seen them do nothing when they should have and do WAY too much when it's not necessary (which is what happened to me).

@Carol💗💙 stick to your guns. Ask your therapist for an official memo in regards to your daughters improvement. Keep that on hand. Offer to go to a different therapist for a second opinion. If things go south with CPS this will be handy to have to show the courts. Make some calls and have a lawyer in mind that you may need to use. Majority of lawyer are free until you win and then charge based off what you get paid. Consultations are always free. Use that. Just be prepared. I don't trust CPS. Fuckers tend to blow things up and twist it around into something 5,000 times worse than it actually is.

But if you feel there are zero benefits to daycare then why are you putting her in next August? You clearly don’t agree with the CPS recommendation but you must see some benefit to her going there. It’s not just the finances , it seems like your opinion is already clouded against it anyway. If you think it’s a waste of time then you’re not going to bend over backwards to make it work. But it sounds like it would benefit your child so maybe there’s a middle ground somewhere 🤷🏽‍♀️ It must be a frustrating process to be part of but they won’t be making recommendations out of nowhere just to cause problems. Surely there’s a happy medium that can be reached somewhere.

I would definitely be trying to talk with the cps workers supervisor and having a full team meeting with the speech therapist involved. It seems like this worker is pushing their own personal opinions/beliefs into your case. A child not being in daycare is not neglect. As long as all her needs are being met then they can't do anything. You have her in speech therapy already. And do other activities that help with social skills and development. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. Hopefully this can be sorted out soon and the case can be closed.

Seems like ur social worker is being a bit pushy. I know here in the UK u can ask for a new social worker if u don't agree with how there handling things. But what I've seen from other parents who have social services involved, it's better to co operate with them. My son has a speech delay and is waiting for speech and language therapy. He goes to nursery everyday (mon-fri) for 4 hours and he has come on so much just by being around other kids his age. Maybe you could compromise by adding a extra day to where she goes already? Because it sounds like she's doing alot of speech therapy and has improved alot if she's gone from nothing to 30 words in a month

If you’re in the US, the public school PK would be free if you have her evaluated for speech and she qualifies for an IEP. If she wouldn’t qualify, it may give you power to push back against DCF. Public PK has to allow children that qualify for IEP services to start when they turn 3 and not make them wait till the new school year.

If I were you I’d do exactly as they say cos they can use that reason to take your baby away. They won’t get off ur case if u don’t listen. That’s my piece

Well if you can’t afford it then it can’t happen. How can they insist if there isn’t money for it?

Have you tried requesting a different case worker? There job is to help the child with in the family One month isn’t long enough to see change If some one came to me trying to tell me to put my kid in care in my current situation… my life is to good for any case worker to say a darn thing to me so I have wiggle room to stand my ground We have no idea why they have a case against you so with out that we don’t know if you have wiggle room. Personally in my life I’d tell them that I will continue to work with my child on speech for 6 month ( in total) and if we see no improvements I’d love to look further into the idea of speech daycare. ( or what ever it is they are wanting you to do.) I’d say “I’m not deflecting my kids as I have found them help that comes to our home and it takes time. And that there is nothing wrong with trying to keep my kid home with me to learn so let’s take this step by step” But again it also matters what state you live in …im in a homeschool state…

I agree with you that it seems unnecessary. My sis is an SLP for birth-3 year olds and always said it was much more beneficial when parents were around instead of doing therapy at a daycare. But sometimes you have to play their game. If it was do as I’m told or potentially have my kid removed or make the situation worse, I would enthusiastically call all the daycares.

@Carol💗💙 I would possibly look for a reevaluation if she was tested prior to 3. I’m not sure what it may be called where you are but a PEP program might be a good middle ground for you. It’s typically half days and they can have services like speech, OT, etc come to class. I’m not a speech therapist but former special education teacher and current doctoral student in special education. In my opinion 2/hrs is way too long at her age. Shorter sessions more frequently would be more effective

@Sorrel I'm not putting her in daycare in August of next year. I'm putting her in public school pre k when she's 4. I just don't see the point in putting her in all day daycare when I'm home with my child until 5pm This means the speech therapy she's in would have to change as well. We would have to find a new speech therapist. My mil would lose money she's already paid for mothers Day out.

@Laura she's been evaluated for public school pre k already. And she's qualified but public school prek k doesn't start till shes 4 were I'm at. So I'm just waiting till she's 4

@Haley my caseworker has told me. They can't solely take the child away for not sending her to daycare, but they can if she's not in resources to help with her speech. And she is in speech therapy. So I'm getting her the necessary help she needs. Just not the way they like.

I would get a child advocate and a lawyer personally.

I'm not going to lie, this is odd. I have NEVER heard of a case being left open for a year and the ONLY issue is how much speech therapy they need. Like this isn't neglect and they are over stepping. How on earth do they have the resources to keep pestering you, I thought CPS is always under funded. This is just odd. I probably would politely ask for this to be reviewed by a supervisor because I honestly cannot see the need for CPS involvement.

@Laura my sister is using that program with her youngest in Arkansas! So even though she homeschools the rest of her kids, until his speech is better, he's in public school for Pre-K and I can actually understand a few words now! (He is probably 4 and his problem is speaking clearly. I literally couldn't understand a word he said. But now I can.... barely.)

Oh I just saw that you were in Arkansas like my sister! You'll be using the same program as her then. I think this CPS worker sounds IMPOSSIBLE to please! Like dammed if you do and dammed if you don't!!! So she's saying it's ok to wait til next Aug, but by that time she might as well start Pre-K anyways at 4. But she wants it started immediately, but no money for it? Ok wait til next year "and know that I wanted you to sooner.....so it's your fault for waiting not mine." That's so confusing and not professional!!! I would try and document everything possible and especially with the speech therapist and a 2nd opinion if able to. Then I would consult a lawyer about this open case, and when they can shut it. You clearly are handling it and doing what you can. They are just being a nosy relative, but one with a lot of bullying power.

This is my fear, my child is in speech and hasn’t improved a lot….and I am terrified something will be done/said if he doesn’t improve “on time”. He’s starting preschool soon (NOT because I want him to , I wanted to home school him. But his SLP suggested preschool would do him well, so alas :(

I’m a little confused, you said she started speech therapy a month ago, but the case has been open a year? Has the case been open all of this time due to speech delays? Even 30 words at 3 is well below the threshold. They should be closer to 500 words or more.

@Ella no it's not open because of her speech it's open because my fiance is a recovering addict and there making sure he stays in recovery

@SquishyMommy1 I'm in the process of getting one. It's just expensive

@Sasha the case is open because my fiance overdosed on drugs with the children present and there keeping it open because there making sure he stays in recovery We are aware it's well below the average. Which is why she's in speech therapy.

@Carol💗💙 I’m so sorry about that, that’s really tough. I know it may not be possible but wanted to share some perspective. My daughter was in speech therapy for around 6 months when she was 2. We saw progress but it wasn’t significant. We saw the most progress when we put her in full time daycare. She went from 50 words or so to hundreds with the assistance of both. If it’s not possible to make work, I would see if you can work with the current SLP to put together a detailed daily plan of what you can be doing daily with her. Document what you are doing and the progress.