Step son hand foot and mouth

I personally think that when it’s time for you and your partner to have step son it’s your responsibility to take care of him despite any illness. If it was one of your children with this, what would you have done? If you need to arrange for him to stay with family for that time then you should arrange it. It’s not up to BM when it’s your time. Your time means your responsibility.

@Angel i understand that but it works both ways. Last week they both had d&v and we were expected to keep them at our house to prevent it spreading to her other children (which we did). If there is a position to stop the spread of illness between children then i feel that should be the case. If he comes and the other two children here catch it then its never going to end 🤷‍♀️

@Angel I partly agree, but at the same time, it would be better to keep it contained at home rather than spread to young children. I'm sure if you spoke to his mum, she would understand. When my kids aren't well, I always message my step kids mum and explain and usually, she agrees that it's no good getting 2 households sick.

We actually had a similar situation to this this week. My SD’s brother (on mum’s side) has HFMD. We’ve got a 3 month old. SD lives with us primarily so we’ve said she’s not going to her mum’s this weekend to make sure she doesn’t catch it from him. Mum agrees it’s best, to keep both SD and our LO from catching it. We personally just think that we have the ability to stop it spreading so why wouldn’t we? At the end of the day it’s only a week or two🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh if she’s sent him over because of illness then you should definitely be able to do the same

@Angel she didnt send him ill here but he got ill while he was here so we kept him here until he ws better so it didnt spread to her house. So with the hfm i feel like that should be prevented from spreading the same as d&v

Absolutely nothing wrong with that at all, I’d suggest the same to my fiancé! Especially with it being HF&M it can effect little ones more and obviously it’s better to avoid it if you can x

I partially agree, but then again hand foot and mouth is also just like a cold. Nothing can be done about it and it looks a lot worse than it is. My 2 have it now and they are actually ok, I understand all children are different. We wouldn't tell SD to not come over because out children have it but depends if other mum will be ok about it or not. Technically, children are still allowed into school with it, as-long as they are feeling ok they can go into school/nursery with it anyway. Obvioulsy if they are unwell with it then it's different.

I agree, my son has had hfm twice, the first it wasn’t too bad but this time was much worse. You just don’t know how bad they are going to catch it and if he comes your kids will catch it. My son got it from nursery and gave it to all of his older brothers, me, his dad and my dad. My dad was close to being hospitalised because he was so ill! If you can prevent the spread then prevent it

@Bethan i think it depends on the child and how bad they get it my 2 yr old had has it once before and she was quite poorly and didnt eat/drink for nearly a week and almost needed to be admitted for dehydration. My gp and nursery also said they wasnt allowed in because of the risk of spreading it and hes been sent home from school they dont want him at school

SS stays with mum whilst he’s ill. This is the way it is in our house. It’s one weekend and you can make up for lost time when he’s better rather than him coming when he’s poorly and making your kids poorly and you spending the next entire week pulling your hair out. Save your sanity 😊

I'm a teacher so know for a fact children are allowed into school with it, of course education settings will argue it but if the child was well your within your right to send them and NHS back this too. Yes I agree it depends on the child as like everything, all children are different 👌🏼

I'm having this right now with my SS, he lives with his mum and she's keeping him on our weekend as I refuse for my child to have it if it can be prevented. As last time he had it, she "didn't know" and then my daughter had it when she was 6m and it went through her. I was pissed to say the least. If my daughter was ill, it'll be the same way for him to not come so he doesn't get it.

I wouldn’t be collecting him

My SS came down when he was poorly, he started with a headache and vomiting. I said I would rather he didn't come down and my agreed, then changed his mum and I was the a hole, had a massive argument so I gave in and he came down. He was sick all over his room and got very poorly here, didn't know what day it was or where he was. A couple of days later we all had covid and my then 9 month old was very poorly and me and my husband have both said he shouldn't have come that weekend Like you said colds are fine but if it feels different to you speak to your husband

We don’t send sick children from house to house (if it can be avoided) there’s no point spreading it around and with your two being so small it can be quite bad for them. My 18 month old had it a few months ago and she was poorly for a week with it but I’ve seen children get really sick. I would ask that he stays at his mums and I think after you being considerate and keeping illness from her household it shouldn’t be a problem.

This would be a hard no to having SS at the weekend! What’s the point of spreading what can be a nasty illness - some get it mild but others can really suffer with it. Colds etc - fine that’s just part of life! But if you can avoid HFM then deffo do! It’s not fair on your 2 young children! I don’t think you are wrong at all! Xx

Also… it’s a 3 day exclusion in my nursery for HFM!

You’re not being unreasonable, why spread something that will make your 2year old and 10month old poorly if it can be helped? They could suffer a lot worse with it when theres no need. If your children live with you then you can’t prevent it but this can be prevented by missing a weekend. Vice versa I wouldn’t send my step son home to pass it to siblings at his mums house.. just a cold / cough is fine x

I’m a firm believer that it isn’t just one parents job to do the bulk of childcare when a child is poorly Eg just because she’s the primary care giver she shouldn’t have to do it all eg taking time off work to mind him and then giving up her ‘free’ time That said if she asks you to keep him on your time for longer to avoid passing anything on then I think it’s fair enough to say look x y z That said also there is no exclusion policy from schools and nurseries for HF&M unless they implement their own but in general it isn’t a disease that’s listed with an exclusion policy! Assuming you’d keep them apart etc and wouldn’t have them touching etc etc then you could have him

I totally agree my 15 month old has a viral infection that we thought was HFMD we warned my SD mum and was willing to change weekends as didn’t want to infect any of them. My SD mum keeps sending her to ours with suspected Scarlett fever and in also 7 months pregnant I said to my partner if she does have it or been confirmed it’s not that then send her You are not in the wrong at all