Cannot wait to leave baby daddy

After a long two and a half years of being manipulated I am so done. My little girl is 10 months old and her dad has never worked he gets up at 1/2pm every day and is so verbally abusive to me. This morning our electric went out and I went in at 10am to ask him to top it up (we had absolutely no money yesterday and I have a very kind friend who was kind enough to lend me some money) he went mental because I woke him up. He has called me a ugly fat gremlin, said he would rather our daughter be in care than looked after me (he grew up in care and said it was the most awful thing) and I am a threat to his life. I am baffled at what exactly I have done wrong. I have been to caring towards him for years blaming his laziness on his metal health constantly sticking up for him. In the past few months everything he says to me is my fuel to leave him. I am excited to get away from him but it is taking so much time. How do people cope with having to stay whilst you are finding somewhere else to live? What are peoples coping mechanisms? I am doing okay but sometimes I want to scream. He is so horrible he has no care about screaming infront of the baby. I hope and pray I will be leaving soon and can give my daughter a peaceful life without all this language and hate.

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Grey rock him, non emotional responses if any at all. OK him when he insults ypu, make your exit plan. Tell a trusted person what's happe ING and what you plan on doing and let them help you. It does take time to get out but his demons are not yours. He's obviously a very traumatised man child who doesn't wish to heal, just blame. And that's not on you. I've been here, I got out and getting stronger, knowing myself, self love and boundaries. It's hard, I still struggle sometimes but so grateful for the path I took. Good luck darling xx

You’ve done nothing wrong, it’s not personal. I would be out as much as possible and barely speak to him. Walk away if he starts getting rude. It does sound like mental health but there’s nothing to feel guilty over because if you run someone’s life for them trying to help it stops them needing to change.

My son’s dad was the same, difference was the house was in only my name so I kicked him out, I had to ring my family to come and get him out. I never told anyone what was happening so it came as a surprise to them, not too much as they could all see I was a lot more reserved than what I used to be, my family still don’t know the ins and outs of what happened. Look at help from domestic abuse charities, apply for council housing, look at private rent even if it’s just a one bed whilst you’re on the council list. Do you have any family you could stay with? I wish you and your little girl the best, you are so strong for trying to leave! Your daughter is so lucky to have such a strong mum to look up to xx