Should I be concerned or am I overthinking?
My little boy is 15 months old, heâs recently taken his first steps and he says mamma and dadda and baba (he has said these for months) weâve filled out the paperwork for his 12-14 month review and it looks like he isnât meeting many of his milestones.
He doesnât copy actions, point, clap etc. He doesnât react when being spoken to, or to his name. He actively avoids eye contact.
He was so unresponsive to sound that we just had his hearing tested concerned he was deaf. They found that he could hear so he is just choosing not to react to any noises or sounds.
Has anyone else had similar experiences with their little ones? Should I be raising this with the health visitor and ask to be assessed for neurodivergent issue or a social communication problem like autism?
I donât want to just slap a label on him, but I do feel that there are real concerns. All opinions welcome!!
I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realizedâŠ
This is such a ramble but I donât know where else to put it all.
Iâm four months in and I donât really have hobbies right now. I donât do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.
And I thought I didnât mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think itâs altering how I view people around me and itâs prodding at my relationship with my husband.
He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.
And yet thereâs like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know heâs running off to start up the bot. Even though Iâm the reason he does it this way.
We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. Heâs always brought a laptop on trips and itâs never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldnât. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasnât reason to. Itâs not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasnât avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was âwhy the hell would you do this on a family trip?â
I donât know what it is. Maybe itâs the less complete sleep from babyâs middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe Iâm not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But Iâm just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks âyou could be using that time differentlyâ but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???
I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And heâs of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.
I donât want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also donât know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. Itâs like Iâve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.
Maybe I need a therapist.
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