AITA for not wanting to share my daughter

My partners family want to babysit our daughter but I don't want to give her for many reasons 1. I ebf 2. She's only 1 month 3. None of them checked up on me during my pregnancy 4. Their hygiene is disgusting (they use their dirty fingers to wipe baby's spit from her mouth) 🤮 5. They don't understand how to heat up & store breast milk. 6. They don't burp my daughter cause to them apparently you don't need to burp bf babies. (she vomits when not burped literally not long after feeds) 7. Sil disregards my explanations when bub refuses a bottle. 8. they don't even visit. Idk but to me I don't owe anyone my daughter nor an explanation why they can't have her. these moments are for me and my partner to enjoy not them. my partner agrees with me however he does want to share her but I don't, not now anyways.

Show your support

If you have a list of reasons why you don't want someone looking after your daughter that there already is a no for me!

Nta she's so little. Tell them they can ask again when she's 9 months old

The first 2 is enough for me to say no

NTA. It makes zero sense for a mother to let someone else watch their newborn unless they needed to! It’s seriously weird how people think it’s ok to take a newborn from their mother just so they can spend time with baby….. no way.

I don’t get why family want “alone time” with babies this young. It’s weird. Come visit and hangout if you wanna spend time with baby but you aren’t getting them alone especially if you don’t respect how I choose to do things as a mom.

My baby is 8months and I still don’t share unless it’s important that I need to. For example I have the hospital next Tuesday for a baby scan so he will go to my in laws while it’s happening but for any clinic appointments I will take him with me. YNTA

If I had a list that long it'd be a no even after she's 1 let alone 1 month old. If I was you I'd say no and you're not an ass for doing that

I’m so sorry you have this type of in-laws. No one saw my daughter without me until she was over 3 months old. Then it was only my mom and my MIL. And at 17 months now that remains the same. I have had “friends” really push to babysit. They claim they want to give me a break but I always say I’m good. It’s your choice.

✨ no is a complete sentence ✨ you don’t even need a list

There are clearly trust and boundaries issues here and if those things aren’t established, i sure as heck wouldn’t expect that to suddenly change.. & if they’re doing those things in front of you who knows what they’d do out of your sight. Hard no from me.. Agree that 1-2 are enough as well even without all of the other stuff

My daughter will be 13 months tomorrow and she has never spent a day away from me or even a few hours not in the same household. If my family or in laws want to see her, they come to our house or we go to theirs (which rarely happens since she only naps well at home) You don’t owe anyone anything when it comes to your child and if they can’t respect your rules & boundaries they don’t need to be around her period.

NTA. When my MIL held my baby, she kept getting distracted and forgetting to support her head and neck. She was less than a month old! I was fuming. Then she wanted to babysit. I made up every excuse to try to explain it away without hurting her feelings because the last thing I wanted was MIL drama at that time, but ultimately I just had to put my foot down and say she's my baby and I want her with me as much as humanly possible, and when she's not with me, I want her with my own mom who has multiple grandbabies and has a degree in developmental psychology and raised 5 kids of her own. Like, sorry not sorry, MIL. My own momma outranks you by far in terms of who I want watching my kid!

Don't let anyone watch your kids who doesn't respect your initial boundry of saying no. 🚩🚩🚩 If you need to be an asshole to them that's fine. Don't give them any more explanations. Just say no.