What does dad do?
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Sits on his phone, eats, then falls asleep on the sofa tbh.
My husband immediately takes his work stuff off (he works on unhealthy chemicals occasionally so his clothes and boots stink) and then he takes over my toddler so I can do whatever I want or just get a break. If he sees me doing chores, he offers to switch but I always refuse because he travels so much I’d rather him take the toddler and have some alone time with her
If baby and I are napping he sits downstairs on his phone, and once we wake up he tends to complain that it's now too late for me to make dinner despite me telling him repeatedly to wake me up when he gets home if I'm sleeping. If I'm already awake I have to basically beg him to take the baby so I can make dinner, and once that's all said and done SOMETIMES he does the dishes, otherwise he lets them sit and goes on his phone until baby and I go to bed, then he plays video games until going to bed around 2-3am when baby wakes for a feeding and diaper change
He comes home gives me and baby a kiss, takes a shower and changes out of his work clothes. Then he plays with baby until it's time to pick up our other kids from school. We go pick them up together. Then him and the kids spend time together usually on the Xbox, while I feed the baby. Then baby goes back to him while I cook dinner, then we bath baby and do her bedtime routine together
Husband comes home, kisses me and baby then goes to shower and get changed (usually 15 mins all up). He’ll take over from baby duties and hold / watch him while I start dinner. Or he’ll start dinner and I’ll feed / put baby to bed. Once baby is asleep we have dinner and tackle some household chores together, or we just chill and watch TV
My husband takes care of the baby as soon as he gets home. Then if he’s playing video games to relax we take turns with the baby. Then I go to sleep early and he puts the baby to go to sleep for the night
Eats, watching the babies while I shower and then does all the dishes/bottles. Gets fresh baby ready for bed while I get toddler ready for bed then we switch and when both kids are asleep we go to bed
Yeah he will hang out with/play with the kids while I cook dinner
Play videos games. Sometimes he doesn’t feel like playing and we’ll watch a tv show or movie together. We have a 5 year old (birthday this weekend) and I’m 29 weeks pregnant. I do majority of the cleaning as I like cleaning and there’s days/times we both would deep clean the house together.
My husband has a sporadic schedule, sometimes home before baby’s bed sometimes not. But if he is home pre bed time he will play, bath and bed and I will tidy and cook tea. If it’s after (usually 8pm) I will have done all the tidying, cook tea and we just chill, he washes the dishes in the morning pre work.
We live above his work (he runs a pub) so he’s in and out all day long… Day to day he’ll wash the dishes for me, take the bins out and normally cooks dinner for us all too… he does the school run (both ways) but I do mostly go with him for that.. and he’ll pretty much drive me wherever/whenever (I don’t have a license) Weekdays I wake with the kids to get them ready for school and he wakes a little later to get himself ready to drive us.. weekends he wakes with the kids… he wakes in the night with them if they ever do wake (they never do anymore tbh haha) My ‘main’ chores are keeping the house clean, laundry and just general childcare of the kids… other than that we are pretty much a team x
your husband sounds like he is sharing in little to none of the mental load and that’s a serious offense in my book. the fact that he is unwilling or unable to see the needs that need to be met is awful!
our toddler is usually asleep when he gets home. he usually likes to shower and chill as soon as he’s home, but he does help me clean up after dinner or take the trash out when i need help. but most of the time i do have to tell him what i need him to do. we’ve had a million conversations about my frustration at his lack of initiative when it comes to home chores/kid chores, he has gotten better but unfortunately a lot of men need direction
As soon as my husband gets home (which is before me so he picks our daughter up from my parents) he is straight into dad/husband mode. He starts, if not cooks all our weeknight dinners as I don’t get in till 6. He is just him, either being a dad or a husband… nothing special! Just him. He puts our daughter to bed every night without fail as I’m useless at it! We are sat chatting ages after she was meant to be asleep!! (She is two for context)
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@Izzie this is exactly where we are at. I have to tell him and I was just wondering if it’s the norm. It’s 50/50 based on the answers from this post.
it’s definitely not all men, some are great at that stuff. and i don’t like to put it off like just because they’re men they aren’t capable, they can be. but their brains don’t work the same as ours, plus my man has adhd which makes it harder
As soon as he gets home from work he comes and gives me and the baby a kiss and cuddle then goes to pee and get out of his work clothes. He'll spend a few hours playing with baby/feeding/changing etc, basically anything she needs while I go have some time to myself and sometimes that's literally just sitting next to him scrolling tiktok. He cooks dinner every night while I do the bath and bed routine. But that will be changing so we can take turns doing bedtime routine, he doesn't do a great lot of cleaning unless I ask him to but it doesn't bother me because I genuinely enjoy doing it.