HV keeps coming back to weigh baby

So my health visitor keeps coming back to weigh my baby and I'm already living with PPA and ppd and now this is making me feel like a shit mum. Baby was tracking on 91st centile for the first two weeks but has since dropped to the next centile down and has dropped slightly below that centile again. Last time she came she wanted baby eating 785ml a day which we have been trying to do and we do get there most days. Now she wants her eating 870-900ml which we're nowhere near because baby doesn't want to eat that much. She does suffer a little with reflux but she's not spitting up every day or after every feed so I don't think that's massively impacting her weight gain but now I feel like I'm being made to feel like I'm not doing enough to get her eating more. Has this happened with anyone else? Fed up of people making me feel like a shit mum when I already feel like that.

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What sort of birth did you have? Any fluids? What sort of body shape are you and dad? Tall, petite etc?

You're not a shit mum, if something is flagging for them they have to follow through with it. There must be a concern here, and potentially they have not communicated it well enough with you. If it's the same nurse coming request a second opinion or call the midwife at your gp to ask what she thinks. If it's different nurses there is probably a reason for their concern and that does not have to reflect on you, just baby x

This is most likely absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with the baby, I don’t think the HV thinks you’re not feeding her enough I think she’s concerned that she’s not growing from the feeds and just wants to keep an eye on her that’s all incase there’s something bigger going on, absolutely nothing to do with you they just expect babies to go back to their birth weight then only go up from there, she just wants to make sure the baby is ok xx

We had the same baby born in 90th centile dropped to 75th, down to 50th and then 25th now sitting at 9th. Both myself and his dad are petite and his head circumference and length match his current weight centile. I was in the exact position feeling terrible because he wouldn’t eat enough. He has a tongue tie which we got told not too worry about and by the time his weight was an issue he was too old to get the tie cut and would need anaesthetic and had terrible reflux. I felt that I had failed him and if I had done xyz then he’d be okay and I left it too late. We ended up asking for a referral to a paediatrician for peace of mind. They said because myself and his dad are small he was never going to be big it’s just a coincidence that he was a giant baby. He’s now 13 months and thriving and finally fits into 6-9 month clothes 🤣 he only weighs 8kg so don’t worry too much every baby is different and the health visitor is just doing their job ours was exactly the same

@Reena normal birth no fluids except antibiotics for strep b. Both dad and I are overweight. I'm average height and dad is 5"9

@Terrie-Ann she keeps telling me there's nothing to worry about but then keeps coming back. This time she said they need three plots on the same centile for them to stop weighing her but in the same sentence said that she may have dropped just below but needs to plot it online instead of just using the red book. it's been the same person every time

@Phoebe she never dropped below her birth weight she's always gained. Just not enough now even though she's eating really well

Weird because the 91st centile is high, so for her to drop would be fine right 🤷🏻‍♀️ I would definitely call the midwife you had at the GP and explain you either want to see her and show her your red book or whether she can give you more information on what's going on, I did this with my GP midwife when I was confused about feeding and wasn't getting appropriateanswers from community midwives xx

I have to get my son weighed next week as he’s under weight! She said he’s longer than he is wide. His Dad is tall and I’m petite… plus he’s had issues with a milk intolerance. So, I’m not too worried. The last two days he’s over fed on his recommended feeds but today he’s well under… I’m not going to force him to feed 🤷🏽‍♀️ As long as she’s not dehydrated, you feed her when she wants it and is content, I wouldn’t worry too much. HV just have to tick all the boxes.

@Kellie my girl is very long too rather than wide as I'm a bit of a shorty compared to my husband. I queried a milk intolerance with my GP but they dismissed it as reflux and as her rash has now gone they refuse to believe it's that. Same here! I refuse to force feed her. She drinks when she wants it, has plenty of wet and dirty nappies and is as happy as Larry in her wake windows so I thought she was thriving.

@Rebecca exactly, you’ve literally just said all the positives showing that you’re not a shit mum. The charts and tick boxes are nothing by BS. Xx

As long as baby is eating and gaining weight baby is fine! I don't know what the HV is worried about. Probably some dumb arbitrary number thing. "Procedures" You are doing great mama!

How old is your baby? I ask because mine is 9 weeks old and only has around 600ml a day (that’s an average) some just aren’t big eaters 🤷🏼‍♀️

They keep coming back to weigh my girl too. Please don’t worry. Some babies are smaller than others.