My sister is a hater

So ladies I’m needing some advice. My hubs and I are currently planning our wedding for November 2025. He’ll be deployed (again 😒) for 6 months out the year so majority of the wedding planning will be on me. Like most of us, I don’t have many friends (maybe 2 from childhood but 1 lives states away and the other is a guy) but I always had my sister so for the most part I was good on finding new friends. Even tho we’re complete opposites from each other. I’m the homeschooling, family oriented, spiritually centered type of person. She’s the party girl who wants to live the glamorous lifestyle type. Now, it was brought to my attention that she was talking shit about my life. Said nobody gives a fuck about Danikas fairytale life and some crazy other stuff, after she got herself in some legal mess and I took care of her kids full time for 2 months. And now that I truly think about it other people “her so called friends” have told me things about her talking shit and also she’s always gave backhanded compliments or made rude remarks or ignored anything positive I had going on. Here’s the thing, now that I’m planning my wedding the sister in me wants her to be a bridesmaid and help me plan this wedding like “close” sisters do but I’m afraid she may cause a headache or start shit because she lowkey a hater. What would you do if you were me? We are a year apart in age, same parents, and grew up like bestfriends. I mostly only talk to her but she’s been distant after she talked shit about me. To be honest, the whole thing saddens me because this is supposed to be our girls time to shine (having fun wedding planning, bachelorette party, and bridal party) and be genuinely happy for one another.

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The backhanded compliments are usually jealousy. Or maybe she secretly wants what you have. Maybe there’s a way to have her involved in the wedding that would be easier to set boundaries. Like if she starts sabotaging or bringing you down you can easily replace her duties or just keep her at arms length.

I absolutely feel you! I just went through this with my sister, same upbringing as you. It broke my heart, she singled out my first son as her own and completely ignored my second as I was pregnant with him. Personally, I kept her out of all the planning of my baby shower, she came but she was more of a guest. For my peace of mind, and I felt much better than to deal with her BS

Hmmm... I think there are a few ways you can go about this. 1. Confront her. Make her own up to what she said and hopefully work it out together or realize it isn't worth trying to be close 2. Don't have her as a bridesmaid but prepare for the backlash from her and other messy people. 3. Have her as a bridesmaid and push through the disrespect. Personally I would confront her. That way you will find out right away if you even want her there on your special day