MIL Completely Ignores Me As A Mother…

I wasn’t really sure how to title this post, but my MIL does make me feel pretty unseen and unheard as my children’s mom, in almost every aspect. For one, she refuses to believe I have any genetic contribution to my kids, and it goes way beyond just my “kids look like dad” comments. Not once has she even acknowledged my genetic history, or that the kids get some physical, but mostly mental qualities from me. Even my husband will say stuff like the kids get their stubbornness from me, or have the same smile as me, or love of animals comes from me, but MIL will always jump in without fail and say otherwise, every time. She goes as far as saying my kids get things from long distant relatives of hers rather than admitting it may be my side. Then there’s her always trying to parent my kids over me, or thinking she knows my kids better than I do. If we’re visiting with them and I’m trying to correct or parent my kids, she’s always trying to insert herself in the situation like I don’t know how to raise my own kids, or I don’t know what they need more than she does. Lastly, she’s got no concept of personal boundaries when I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant with our third, and I just know, like with my last two kids, she will try touching my bump without permission or warning and make awful jokes about my growing bump. She honestly just makes me feel like a human incubator for her grandchildren and it’s awful. We had thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws this past weekend and it was just the same old crap all over again. We announced we are pregnant again and the personal boundaries disappeared. She was parenting over me the whole time, and just ignored me as a person and mother the whole time. I honestly can’t stand visits anymore. It’s just constant with her, non-stop and if we ask her to stop certain behaviours with us she either ignores it completely or pulls guilt trips like you wouldn’t believe. Thanks for the rant, I just desperately needed to get this off my chest.

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I feel you mama! Ugh I'm sorry

I think my favorite interaction of all time was my mil sending me an old picture of her cousin at 5 years old and saying my daughter looks just like her. I was like oh how cool my daughter looks just like me at the same age as well and I sent her a picture and she never responded lol

Ugh I feel like I could have written this myself, you’re not alone! I even know it’s not my MILs intention to upset me but it rattles me to my core! I finally has a conversation with my husband about being more supportive of me when we’re around and actively parenting while in laws are also around. It went well so fingers crossed!

I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with some MIL’s! I feel you I also go through the same I avoid contact at all costs. She’s so disrespectful to me as the mother of my child She “talks” to my son on the phone and calls herself “mom” and not “grandma” and then pretends it was a mistake but it has happened many many times 🙃 she also said that and my partner and I don’t do anything for our baby and if she could she would take him to live with her when we do the absolute everything and anything for him he’s so much loved and cared but she claims she knows him better than we do One day, I had to take my son to the doctor, and she insisted on entering the room and ended up humiliated me in front of the doctor and so much more

I don’t know what is wrong with MILs - mine is very similar in thinking my son gets everything from her side. Everyone on her side has dark hair and brown eyes. My son has blonde hair and blue eyes and is a spitting image of my dad 😂 Reduce your contact with her and surround yourself with people that build you up rather than tear you down. You can’t control her behaviour but you certainly don’t need to tolerate it.