HELP

What am I doing wrong - honestly feeling so crap and deflated. My 16 week old literally will not sleep in his next to me at all at night, I lay her him down slowly after i’ve fed him (EBF) and BAM wakes up instantly but will sleep only if we co-sleep. I’m afraid i’m creating bad habits and me and my husband will never get our bed back. I feel like I have tried anything and everything and don’t know what more I can do. Has someone experienced this before? I literally can’t stop crying because I feel so incompetent
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It’s completely normal for babies to want to be as close to their parents as possible. They don’t understand that you’re only a few steps away when you put them down. There’s also no such thing as creating a bad habit with a baby. Your baby is behaving like a baby, it’s not your job to make them behave differently. Being held and cosleeping actually creates a more secure attachment and leads to greater independence growing up. So if that’s what you’re worried about, there’s no need. The below is a really helpful read. There are lots of evidence-based articles on the same blog too, just filter under the sleep category. And remember everything is temporary. Your baby will never need you as much as they need you today. 🤍 https://raisedgood.com/what-does-biologically-normal-baby-sleep-look-like/

@Aggs thank you so much. I just feel like if others babies can sleep why can’t mine so I must be doing something wrong 😢 I know we shouldn’t compare

I think it’s normal to feel this way but remember that every baby is different. Just like your sleeping preference will be completely different from mine, and we’re not babies who are completely new to this world. Cosleeping is also a lot more common than you think. Most countries outside the UK and US cosleep with their babies and yet have the lowest numbers of SIDS. Your baby needing to be close to you is a sign he feels safe and loved with you, which means you’re doing absolutely everything right.

You're not incompetent. It's the most natural thing for a breastfed baby to do. I managed to hold out till 7 months cosleeping but I didn't catch any sleep at night time the whole month he was 6 months so really had to give in. Look up safe sleep 7 from la leche league. I heard they will leave your bed eventually when they're ready. Hopefully at 2 and not 7 😅. Mine is 12 mo now and it's really nice Co sleeping at the moment

You are not incompetent! No one told me that it's almost impossible to get babies to sleep on their own either! It's not "bad habits" to cosleep. It's the most biologically normal way for a baby to sleep. They were inside you for 9 months, soothed by your heartbeat and the warmth of your body, so it's completely natural they would want to sleep next to you now. And I agree with @Aggs that cosleeping actually helps them form more secure attachment styles when they are adults - the modern science is pointing to this also. Get the book Safe Infant Sleep by James McKenna and follow happy cosleeper on instagram. If it wasn't for cosleeping, I would have lost my mind trying to get my little one to sleep alone! Babies eventually grow up and move into their own beds with time. I'm planning to get a floor bed when my baby eventually gets his own room and to sleep with him and roll away when he falls asleep. You are doing the best for your baby and should be proud! ❤️🙏

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