I’m at 18 days and at some points everything is better than I imagined and at some points way worse. I am a SAHM and we do a group or activity almost every day with my 20 month old. Getting both of them out of the house and to her activities is much easier and more fun than I anticipated. When the baby is asleep in his pram or a carrier I can give my daughter undivided attention and it’s much better than when I was pregnant. What I’m really struggling with is her tantrums that have suddenly gone to stratospheric levels. She doesn’t want to get dressed, put her shoes on, get in the pram, walk etc. I think she’s trying to regain control of her life after everything has turned on its head. She’s much more empathetic and loving to her brother than I was anticipating. SHE tells me he needs milk if he starts to cry. All in all it’s such a hard adjustment and I know it’ll get better with time, I just wish that was now !!
I'm also going through this, last week I felt awful and so anxious. This week has been much better and my son is settled/loves his new brother. I'm finding the adjustment hard and cannot shake the mum guilt. I think it will just take time and eventually it will click into place 🫶🏻
Thank you so much everyone. Yesterday my toddler told me that baby needed mummy’s milk which was great as previously she’d be upset if I gave him attention. I’ve also noticed the refusal to do stuff like get dressed. Nappy changed has increased and I’m not quite sure how to manage it. I wish we knew when it would get easier. My toddler was in nursery yesterday like she normally is and I just kept missing her all day. I feel guilty sometimes like I love my toddler more than my newborn but I gusss it’s because she’s got more of a personality and I’ve known her longer then I feel so bad for saying that.
I got really an emotional around day 6 too. It’s hard, like you, I just missed being able to do everything for my toddler and not having to tell him to wait or mummy can’t pick you etc. Yesterday I concisely made an effort to put baby down when I could and play specifically with my toddler. I also tried the trick of telling my baby ‘hey Mummy is changing (toddlers name) so you have to wait and be patient okay’ My toddlers face 🥹 even at 21 months, I could just tell straight away that he valued that. I’ve got no advice for the future but i definitely feel you and I’m hopeful it will be a phase and we will get through it. Seeing them eventually play with each other will be worth it xx