Vent

I love my little one to the core. But at times I feel that my life has been taken over completely by thoughts surrounding her and I am losing my individuality.
I am tired. Balancing work and home when one is sleep deprived needs special kind of strength. I am trying my level best but feel that I am not doing justice to either.

PS - my partner is really helpful but we don’t have a village to help us. So there is hardly ever a break.

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I completely understand, I have a 9 month old on my own me and her father are separated and live 10 hours away from eachother, so getting a break or time to even work also makes me feel like that! You got this mama no shame, maybe try having a little date night with your partner once baby goes to bed put on a movie light a candle maybe order some food whatever sounds good to you and relax!

What also helped me was taking her on walks or to the park where I could exercise which helped me feel more confident about myself and gets my baby and i out of the house

I understand this completely but I'm a sahm so I literally never do anything without my son attached to me. There was a couple times i went to dinner with my family and my husband kept my son and it helped me realize who I am and that I'm also my own person in addition to a mom

You are not alone. It is hard to raise a kid without family around who could take some load off of you. We are spending a lot of time outside, walking, doing things together (which is not always a success or pleasant) and I try to have outings without my baby on the weekends or early mornings while my partner takes care of the baby. Date nights also helps break the monotony (but expensive). Maybe just to see a different perspective on parenting you may want to check out the book called “Bringing up Bébé” by Pamela Druckerman. It is about french parenting which is more relaxed and supposedly creates chill, self-entertaining, independent babes:)

This isn't helpful to hear until you process it a minute... it's normal. Most moms go through this. Often it takes years to find yourself again. Which also means you have community in other moms going through it. It's hardest when it's your first and even harder when you're younger. Thank you for saying it; it needs to be talked about more so that others know that they're not alone in these feelings ❤️ it will naturally get better with a lot of time, be aware when you need to just get out. Try to make friends who can relate and will make time for short "escapes" and don't guilt yourself when you need a minute ❤️‍🩹

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?