Rage ever since having a baby

Anyone else have moments of feeling absolute blinding rage since they had their baby. It’s been nearly two years of it. I never act on the feelings but my insides feel like they are going to explode and I get so many intrusive thoughts. All I want to do is scream and shout when I feel like that but I try as hard as I can to internalise it so it isn’t obvious on the outside to others or my toddler. I honestly feel like having a huge tantrum and letting it all out but I can’t. I can go ages without the feeling and then just have a day of feeling like it all the time. Anyone else ever feel like this and how do you let go of the rage when it takes hold? I feel awful about it and I love my toddler so much and would do anything for them but it is usually my toddler who sets it off in my brain for me. I don’t want my toddler to struggle with anger like I do so I am trying to work out how to fix myself. Help!
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I think this is really common lovely! Well done for recognising it and reaching out. Mum rage is definitely a thing. I saw a v good post on this recently - might be a good starting point? https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBOogubMnps/?igsh=MWp5aWRvejV3cm10aA==

Thank you, I just feel so alone in my feelings and I am sure there are loads of people who are similar to me and internalise it. I just worry about the day I can’t anymore and want to work on it before it gets to that point. Especially since my toddler now has tantrums 24/7 and they are quite triggering!

I can rage from something as small as my husband double locking the front and not telling me so when I’m rushing to leave it takes me ages as I have to find my keys then unlock the stiff locks 🙈

@Josie oh I totally get that! Mine is the opposite and leaving the front door open.

Makes me feel better that my crazy rage isn’t just me it’s mum hormones 😂

Yes, I've been struggling with rage since having my daughter. I had a lot of rage as a teenager too that was never properly dealt with so I've been doing a lot of reading about emotional regulation for kids and that's helped a lot. I follow the Occuplaytional Therapist on facebook and her posts always seem to give me a little bit more understanding about myself. Affirmations also help me, practising them when I'm feeling fine helps reinforce the habit for when I'm not fine. Phrases that work best for me are 'it's okay to feel angry (or sad or anything) and these feelings will pass'. That helps with my intrusive thoughts, I kept having to tell myself that I was allowed to feel the way I feel because I would start hating myself for any negative emotion. I also try to be honest to my toddler about it. If I'm annoyed it makes me feel better to just tell her 'I am annoyed' instead of holding off and wanting to shout later.

Other tips I've found online are to find ways to healthily express your emotions. If you want to scream all the time try singing loudly instead, if you want to punch the wall try getting rid of that active energy with star jumps or something. Also just learning to recognise the build up and give yourself breaks and extra support during those times. My rage nowadays seems very linked to my period so I know the week before and week during I'll need extra support.

@Isla thank you, this is so helpful. I also struggled as a child/ teen - my parents used to call it thunder and lightening as I would get so angry. I don’t think I ever learnt how to deal with it and just pushed it down until I blow up over something g stupid usually.

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