Ugh… I have no idea what to do anymore.
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@Parker 又 thank you! Will have hubby get that ordered :) I do believe we will get a for sure ADHD diagnosis but I don’t want him feeling… different? Like he’s still smart as all hell, he does amazing academically, it’s just the behavior has gotten out of control. Some of it could be monkey see monkey do from how our oldest has always acted. But I just think there’s more to it than bad behavior at this point. Hubby doesn’t want him medicated but at what point do we say enough is enough and get him the help he NEEDS. That’s why I put my foot down today.
Oh thank you I love that!
I hope it ends up being helpful! 🫶🏼🫂 Also giving stuff back wasn’t a bad move. Realistically most kids, especially neurodivergent ones, don’t do well when you try withholding things; because 1,) those things are their motivators, you take them away, the only motivation is to get them back or 2.) once the objects & privileges are gone they shut down & it ends up not mattering at all.
@Parker 又 yessss to both of these recommendations! My oldest has ADHD/ODD, and was very much like this. A handful for teachers not armed with information on educating the neurodivergent. It’s been a fight his entire education, 504s, suspensions, expulsions, I hospitalized him briefly at 13 for his wildest actions. That was HARD 🤦🏾♀️🥹 BUT consistency has always been key. I practice positive reinforcement and responsibility with him. He’s 15 now and two years without suspensions or serious discipline at school. It was a long tiring road but my mantra has been what can I change when he will not. Stay in control and remember you are the adult modeling regulation for them. Easier said than done some days for sure 🙃
@Nika id deeply recommend searching into PDA profiles (: odd is often misdiagnosed when it’s actually a PDA profile attached to neurodivergence! I was labeled as that I had odd as a kid, but that would imply that it was a stemming from a choice I’m makin; when my words & actions were involuntary. I didn’t know there was a difference at all til I was 23 LMFAOO
But to the comment of medication; I’d recommend getting your son in with a primary care doctor who has “D.O” in their title not an “M.D” !!! They work more holistically & check vitamin & hormone levels before they really recommend medications, but they’re just as fully licensed & allowed to treat & prescribe as an MD doctor is. Might bring your husband more peace of mind if medication ends up being something professionals do think would help (:
@Parker 又 I had the same diagnosis as my son, ADHD, ODD, and I also have bipolar 1. I definitely want to check into this now. I’ve had him ENDLESSLY evaluated at every level so I’ve been confident in the diagnosis, especially when I see so much of the same in my own behaviors before treatment. I will say though my son is VERY deliberate with his actions, which made his behavior even more worrisome. Hence me eventually hospitalizing him for 4 months, which was hell on my mom guilt but has been a large turnaround. Still not perfect though, but that’s really not what I expect from a 15 year old, anyway!
@Nika super fair! Again I only really bring it up in cause I went misdiagnosed my entire schooling career & did not know there was more diagnoses in the same realm until like 2 years ago lol
@Parker 又 definitely worth checking always, I agree. My second was immediately diagnosed ADHD and ended up reevaluating him at 11 because it just wasn’t working, the meds, etc. Turned out he has high functioning ASD! The entire time my kid was being given stimulants he didn’t need! I felt horrible!!! BUT so glad I fought to find out and now he’s doing worlds better.
To me it sounds like you don’t really believe he did these things yet you’re still punishing him and took everything away. Why punish him if you know that he is innocent?
Quick question, has anything changed recently such as moving, new little one being born, changes in the household in general? Could he possibly be losing a tooth? Now I highly recommend the chew necklaces my 5 year has ADHD and we are exploring autism as well. They help tremendously with biting. I would also recommend maybe play therapy there could be something else going on that he isn’t expressing as well. As far as discipline I feel your pain. Just remember to be a united front!
@Alisia The punishment was for the other things that he’s been doing mostly on the same days that I KNEW he had done. And for how he acted at home.
@Elizabeth no, but our youngest (his baby sister) was in the hospital at the beginning of the month for two types of pneumonia and bronchiolitis and almost died… and unfortunately he did witness the beginning of when shit got really bad because he was in the ER with us waiting for transport to children’s hospital. But him and I have talked about it and he says he’s okay about that whole thing.
Oh no I am so sorry to hear that! I would definitely recommend some form of therapy. Kiddos a resilient but could very dealing with it subconsciously. If therapy isn’t for you no worries just throwing ideas out there!
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@Elizabeth I just wish we could afford it! I’ve brought it up before and he’s adamant on “I don’t want to talk to a stranger I’d rather talk to you” well buddy I love you but as of right now that’s the problem, you AREN’T talking to me. Hubby is more than willing to do it but god damn insurance is not easy to get it approved for his age. I was literally told when I called about it months ago that no six year old should need therapy and it’s not something they can approve. But we’ve been dealing with consistent behaviors since we lost our daughter in May of 2021, like within a few weeks his behavior went from amazing angelic toddler to demon spawn and he knew I was pregnant he knew we lost her so I think that correlation can’t be ruled out either. Even when I got pregnant with our youngest he’d tell me he didn’t want her to go to heaven too and I know he’s dealing with that in some sense as well which is why I’ve wanted to get him into play therapy but he won’t budge and neither will
@Elizabeth insurance. And it also feels icky of me to “force” him into it which I know is so stupid because he’s the kid I’m the parent and he needs it but ugh. Dilemmas.
https://www.amazon.com/Declarative-Language-Handbook-Thoughtful-Challenges/dp/1734516208/ref=asc_df_1734516208?nodl=1&tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693033695478&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16784351373185653610&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9003734&hvtargid=pla-894552775868&psc=1&mcid=650e503fd7523f5ba0b7cb6f1bf212ae&dplnkId=2fbc1792-46c8-4cde-aab0-78e9c3957f45 This book will likely come in handy to you at some point 🫂🫶🏼