Struggling
Show your support
In terms of still meeting your own basic needs, can you partner make you a packed lunch in the morning before he goes to work? Or can he take baby in the evening for a bit so you can out yourself something together? Healing is different for everyone but I'd think the next 2 weeks you'll start to feel a lot more comfortable, if not it's probably worth getting checked that there's nothing else going on just in case. It's hard, but it's all a phase, hope you can get some help 🤍 x
@Katie It’s all completely normal and I really keep trying to remind myself but my word it doesn’t make things any easier! You’re certainly not alone, we’ll make it thought to the other side, I’m sure you’re doing absolutely amazing and your little one loves you so much they can’t bare to be apart 🩵
@Sîan we’ve agreed today he’s going to start making me a pack lunch or making extra dinner so there is left overs, I wanted to think I could manage to do things myself but I can’t (I’m to proud i struggle to admit I could do with help) 😢 I’ve been really ill with back to back colds since having him (baby is fine!) which I think has slowed down my recovery. My wound from the outside has healed great, but the constant coughing has made my section from the inside so sore 😭 my partner is wonderful I feel very lucky to have him, just wish he was able to be home more 😢
That's great :) it's about thinking of ways they can still support you even when not home in the day so good you've got a plan in place now, it'll help your recovery too. Other things are making sure bits are prepped and in easy access like nappies, spare clothes etc. Society makes us think that we can just get up and manage straight away but that's not the reality for so many people and 2 weeks paternity (on a shockingly low payment) really isn't enough to support mothers, especially those that haven't had a 'straight forward' birth so please don't think you're failing in any way. We've all had colds too, husband, me, baby then toddler 🤦♀️ I then got hit with mastitis too 2 days before my husband went back to work and was in bed all weekend and it really knocked my confidence about coping and I'm a 2nd time mum 🤷♀️ x
@Sîan oh god I’ve had mastitis aswell as of Monday, it’s been a shocker! Can’t seem to catch a break! We don’t have it easy do we 😢 thank you for your lovely reply, it’s right, we need to give ourselves more credit for how hard things can be 🩵
That sounds really tough. Here are a few things that helped me put my first baby down that might help you. Firstly are you following wake windows? As a rough guide from due date, 0-4 weeks 30-45 minutes, 4-8 weeks 45-60 minutes, 8-12 weeks 60-90 minutes. At night I wait 20 minutes after he falls asleep before trying to put him down so he's in a deep sleep and less likely to wake. You could do this in the day too. Swaddle, play white noise all night and for any crib naps. When you put your baby down, do it feet first then bum then head very slowly to avoid triggering Moro reflex. You could also sleep with his crib sheet 1 night then use it so it smells like of you. Warm the crib with a hot water bottle before you put him in. Even if you can't walk far, putting him in the pram at the end of the wake window and rocking it, then if he stirs just rock him to sleep again. Hope something helps.
your not allow, our little one won’t sleep anywhere laid flat so we are still holding him while he sleeps day and night. breast feeding them also means i trapped in the chair 90% of my day. but it won’t be for long! can your partner help mornings and evening and take them while you have some time to do things for you or just cook dinner to feel like you’ve achieved something in the day x
@lu I’m absolutely loving breastfeeding but it does sap away any freedom you could possibly have! We’re trying to find some balance between him working and home but it’s so difficult, I feel so guilty 😞
Oh love. I remember this so clearly. My baby is 8 months old on Saturday and I'm fully healed now. Where abouts are you in the UK? I'd love to help if you're close 🥹
I went through the same thing just over 2 weeks ago with an emergency c section. And the other half went back to work the day after I came out of hospital. I found it hard but stick to regular pain relief, and keep active i know it's painful. But it will help. I have had friends over to help out the first week I was home which was lovely. I did have a lil breakdown.. well crying session in front of the other half as he didn't know how I was coping. And since then he's been taking half days so I can have some time to myself, or to just have some sleep, when he's home he takes over which had been really helpful and gives me some breathing space. If you need to chat my in box is always open xx
I hear you! Our baby is the same, refuses to be put down day or night and it’s completely draining! It’s reassuring to know it’s not just us as I feel like I’m failing at parenting and doing everything wrong. I keep reading it’s so normal, just have to wait it out 😥 Sending you hugs!