What should mom do???

My neighbor just moved to Texas, we have that in common. I moved here this year too... She has a teenager, and she enrolled her child in local ISD highschool. Her daughter hates it. She has been complaining even before going to school, because she never wanted to leave her old school. She says to me, that she doesn't like the bullies and the girls always wanna fight for no reason. She doesn't like being NeW girl. ( Side note: I blame shows like Baddies that are clearly a bad influence on children and childish adults alike. But-this ain't the point or the tea) So ---- I told her daughter that moving anywhere and starting a new school is hard. Give it a chance - don't be afraid and try to join clubs to stay busy. (Example, writing clubs, cheer or band). Today---- her mom says ...Her daughter was a bystander at a fight. Two boys were fighting...The daughter's teacher (a male) went to break up the fight--- but had to move her daughter out of the way. He grabs her daughter and pushes her aside to get to the fight. Her daughter -said she did not like the way the teacher touched her. She says --he grabbed her by the waist. And the daughter -complaint about it to her mom the same day... What should the mom do next??? What mom did was... tell the principal and made a report.... But The teacher has not been reprimanded or removed. The teacher is still her daughter's teacher. And now that he knows she is telling everyone that the teacher touched her inappropriately. Things may start getting bad. Her daughter doesn't want to go to his class anymore. ******If this was my daughter before I go to war for her. I'ma ask her why she sooo into the fight the adults had to move her out the way. She really should have moved out of the way. That's how bystanders get hit by stray bullets - minding business that ain't theirs. Then I would address the teacher

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The daughter shouldn't have been in the way. I think it's out of line to say the teacher touched her inappropriately by grabbing her waist to move her so he can break up the fight. Yes, he could have grabbed her shoulders or arms but I'd still not call it inappropriate. Grabbing her hips, butt, or breasts would have been inappropriate. When in the middle of a situation, you grab the quickest area and move the person.

This is a tough one. In middle school and high school I witnessed teachers barrel through kids to get to fights. Did the daughter have issues with this teacher before?

@Brittany she never mentioned that teacher to me before.

Hmmm. Ya again, this is hard. Without any further context and given just this info, I think I would try to find a compromise. I would/will always validate my daughter’s feelings, but I am also not going to try and get an innocent teacher fired. The teacher was probably in fight/flight mode. I think I would request that my daughter be moved to a different class with a different teacher.

I think the teacher is getting way too much flack. He probably wasn’t thinking about her and just trying to stop the fight which is why he’s not in trouble. I would request daughter gets moved to another class although that and her saying the teacher touched her may add to her being ostracized I would also talk to the daughter about 1. Minding your business and 2. Acknowledging her feelings while also trying to teach explain how context and intentions affects the outcome here

@Daija especially the way the world is now, kids aren’t always just fighting with their fists. Teachers are probably terrified of guns/knives.

@Brittany I know I am. I had to stop a first grader from choking out his classmate. The violence is insane and it happens very quick

Being a teenager in today’s world is hard enough.. so I don’t want to take away from that having teens myself. But I agree that the teacher did no wrong. The girl should have not been so invested in the fight if she doesn’t like the school because of that. Doesn’t make sense to me. But as a teenager everything is x10. If mom is able to switch schools though maybe that needs to be a topic of discussion to give her a fresh start. Not sure if the drama is causing issues with grades and education but if it is I had to switch schools because of that as a kid and it was beneficial.

It's hard to say without knowing the specifics...was the fight outside or in a hallway where the teacher definitely couldn't get through without her moving? Was she the only student in the way? Only student watching? Could he have asked her to move instead of touching her? Unless someone was near death, he probably could have waited for her to move over. I'm not saying he was trying to be a creep, but I think he should be more aware of his actions. If it had been a male student in his way, I'm guessing he would have not moved him by the waist. He would have probably touched his shoulders if anything. I would also be uncomfortable if a man moved me over by grabbing my waist. Sure, maybe she shouldn't have been nosey and watching the fight. But I know a lot of adults who would be nosey in that scenario too. It doesn't give an adult the right to touch her waist and make her move because she's standing there. I'm sure the shock of being physically moved beyond her control was partly why she was uncomfortable.

He probably moved her that way so that he had more control over how she got out of the way, as opposed to moving her by her shoulders or pushing her. Maybe he was trying to be gentle. Her daughter is 100% validated in feeling uncomfortable, but it doesn’t mean that he did anything wrong

From the context provided, the teacher did nothing wrong. I'd validate my daughters feelings and, at most, have her removed from his class. I'd want to teach my daughter that making claims of inappropriate touching can destroy someone's life while also teaching her that in most circumstances, no one should touch her without consent and if they do she is to firmly say no. If that does nothing, then defend yourself to get away, nothing more. I really feel for this teacher.

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