Am I insecure
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Maybe he should have discussed this with you at the beginning of your relationship so you both know where you stand from the start. Some people are happy with that arrangement but it's not for everyone. Would he be happy if you were to see other people?
He wants to have his cake and eat it too. You're worth way more than this. Even if it was something you agreed upon in the past, if it's making you uncomfortable then it's a no. Also any man referring to women as "toys" to be played with or used doesn't deserve to be in a relationship in my opinion.
No one who loves someone want to fuck other people period ...his not content Red flag ...leave ...before it ruined u and u lose self respect Unless ur Muslim that's a different story they are ok of sharing
If this is not something you’re ok with then his continued behavior should not be tolerated. Besides, he calls you and other women toys, he is not worth it. Sounds like you want a committed and responsible man and he is not it. You are worth so much more
He wants to have sex with other women but you can't have sex with other men? He just wants a loophole to do what he wants and not get labelled as a cheater. I'm going to be blunt, but I would leave a man like that immediately. He does not value or respect you.
uh, that’s not normal. if that’s how he feels he needs to not be in a committed relationship. or be polygamous or something. i think how you feel feel is totally fair and you deserve someone who wants you and only you
Omg I can’t believe I’m reading this in mamas 35+ because I expect so much more from us older women. I’m actually convinced that this is a troll post cuz I can’t believe what I’ve actually read here. I’m sorrry to sound a little harsh bt I just can’t believe u can’t see the obvious. Ur boyfriend of a yr and half is trash and yes ur insecure. He knows that ur insecure that’s why he keeps doing what he is doing. Please take the hint & kick his ass to the curb. Not only does ur man no have any respect for u, bt he doesn’t have any respect for ANY woman at all! Red flag 🚩 If u stay with this man, he will only keep eating at ur insecurities until u have nothing left. Please leave now while u still have any self love, self worth or self respect left. This man will never make u feel “secure” if he hasn’t already in this yr and half that uve been with him.
Absolutely effing not. I think he has a personality disorder. He's saying you're an object (a toy). Ermmm no, you're a person with feelings. I bet there's other things off in the relationship. Red flags. Run an effing mile
You aren’t being insecure at all. If he wants to be in a relationship then that means being with you, and you only and no double standards. If he wants to be with others he should be single and shouldn’t be expecting you to wait around for him. You deserve so much better than him. I’m glad his being honest, but what a hypocrite! I also don’t feel like paying bills can or should be used as leverage over someone either.
It’s a no for me. Sounds like it is for you too. No shade on those who have open marriages. It’s not for me and our values are aligned on this.
If my man ever called me a toy I would slap him. Honestly. But I’ve been w this man for a long time. In a 1.5yr relationship if he called me a toy he can F right off and find himself another toy coz it ain’t gonna be me. As for my own man he knows I’m the one that keeps the household together, the glue, but at this age looking for someone to settle down with and hopefully a long term relationship I’m not staying w anyone that calls me a toy because I know I’m worth much more than that and he sounds like a F boy sorry. Even if he is your age I’ve met men in their 30’s that are nowhere near ready to settle down they are still F*ing around w the amount of single and childless women around these days that are in their 30’s also, being mid 30’s or even 40 does not automatically make someone wife or husband material.
Do not allow him to do this. No man who actually values his relationship would want this. He wants to have his cake and eat it to while making you feel less than. Get out and go find someone who will make you the center of their life
LEAVE
You don't have to be insecure to want out of a relationship with someone you are not compatible with. You are a monogomist, and he is not. You can securely know that that does not work for you, and wish him the best in finding someone else that is more compatible. Think of it like someone that you would have ruled out immediately because they are a different religion or didn't want kids. If he had been more up front about this at the beginning, it would have been much easier to say, "No, thanks!"
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If you’re not non-monogamous on both ends it’s a wrap. My partner and I were ENM for about the first year but that was actually my choice and he was fine with it. I’m an avoidant attacher and years of therapy taught me not to force it, I’ll just run or cheat. After a failed marriage monogamous relationships felt claustrophobic to me. Then eventually we both realized neither of us actually wanted to spend time with anyone else nor were we and closed the relationship. We were also TTC which made it more prudent. So it’s not insecure if that’s your mutual relationship preference, but accepting something you’re not comfortable with just to keep someone will not make you happy in the end.
I think it’s disgusting to call women “toys”. Honestly that would be a deal breaker for me. I’m interested in a friend and partner…not someone that sees me as an object to play with or for his pleasure. But for your actual question - no one can tell you if you are insecure or not-only you. Do you like this? Do you want this for your life? Maybe this is okay for some people. Some people have open relationships or enjoy threesomes or such. But it doesn’t sound like that’s what he wants. It sounds like he wants to get to sleep around but not you.
1. Leavvveee himmmmm 2. If he is sticking his Willy in other females meaning multiple.. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT MAN! STD/STIs are real girl and multiple partners is normally how it’s spread. You’re worth way more.
Absolutely not. I've been with my husband for 20 years. If he called me and other women toys to play with we would be over in a heart beat. You are not an object to pick up and put down when he feels like it. Please have more respect for yourself and dump that walking trash can.
I echo all the above and I wonder how he’d feel if you said you wanted to ‘play’ with other men and referred to them as ‘walking dildos’ to be used… I’m guessing he wouldn’t like it and that should hopefully shed more light on the situation for you since double standards are never a recipe for a healthy, loving, respectful relationship between two adults.
You need to leave him.
So he's cheating on you and you're accepting that? Why?