In-law does laundry at my house everyday
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I would be grateful if she was watching my son for free
I guess if she’s at your house everyday then she has to get her laundry done so makes sense that she gets it done whilst looking after your child. I don’t think it’s fair to say anything about food from your pantry, especially for her son (unless you’ve specifically asked her not to use something as you bought it for something specific). If you have guests I assume you offer them drinks/food? Especially children! I get that it could be annoying, but I’m assuming they’re providing free childcare? She also did ask your permission to do laundry. Unsure where you’re from but where I live it costs over £80 per day for childcare, it’s unlikely she’s spending that amount on utilities and food at your house
If she's doing it for free then I'd be grateful. Think about the cost of childcare (our is £60 a day at nursery including meals). Also if she also has a child being away from home means chores like washing clothes will be mounting up at hers so I get if she's trying to get some bits done at urs so she's not having to go home to backlog. Sorry it's probably not what u wanted to hear but I know what its like when I'm having to be out, the amount if things that mount up I'd be glad if I could take some stuff with me to get it done.
No she’s is not babysitting for free I pay her.
How does anyone have TWO loads of laundry they could do daily??? I do two loads a week
@KayLee she uses my food items without replacing them and she is not baby sitting for free. I don’t have a problem with her using my laundry but now I feel like that’s what I’m paying her to do.
@Cheryl well she is not doing it for free. I pay her what I would pay another regular baby sitter because my husband and his mom asked. So I’m not grateful for paying someone to do their laundry instead of watching my child.
Then I would have a conversation about replacing what she’s using. “Would you mind bringing your own detergent? We are running out quicker than expected now.” And “Please be sure to replace any pantry items that you use up, and avoid using x,y,z.”
I agree with KayLee. You definitely need to have a chat with her.
Yeah if you’re paying her then that changes things!
Wow, I am sorry, but does anyone completely read a post?! OP PAYS the SIL to babysit. I would lower her pay to adjust for the water, electric and laundry detergent. Sorry but that stuff isn't cheap. As for the food, it would depend on if she was making full course meals or just pb/jelly sandwiches that she is feeding her son. Again that stuff isn't cheap. Do you think what she is using each week is a good portion of what you pay her? If it is, there definitely needs to be a conversation.
@Melissa when I replied the last bit was on there. It just ended with the over reaction part. Since knowing more I agree that she needs to have a talk with her otherwise the relationship is going to be effected negatively.
I agree with Ji. If she’s babysitting for free then you should be grateful. I’d have no problem with it if it were me and I was getting free childcare
@Melissa the post has been edited since all of the replies, adding the bit on the end about paying her.
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@Cheryl @Laura my apologies, I was like wth...
You’re not overreacting. This is utter BS. You pay her. Imagine working in an office and bringing your laundry in every day… and two loads? Then using the stuff in the office kitchen ingredients. Why is she doing this on the time she’s being paid to watch your child? If your child is an age where naps still happen, then it’s a little more understandable. But it’s the principle of it. There’s no other workplace this would be acceptable. She’s taken complete advantage of you saying yes as a one off. She could easily set a timer for her laundry to finish for the time she gets home and spend the five whole minutes hanging it up at her place!
Well, that completely changes things OP. If you're paying her, and it's the market rate, I would be frank but polite, " by the way, can you please bring your own laundry detergent from now on, we are running out quickly, also how many loads on average you will need to do a week?" She will have to give you a number, and have to be mindful of your space and resources you're providing" As for items in your pantry, what is she taking? If it's a juice, a fruit, or something small for her child, I would be okay with that. But if that cuts more into your budget and you can't really afford that, then I would point that out too.
@Krishna thank you! That’s my exact thought, it’s the principle! I’m paying her to watch my child and when I come home our furnitures are covered in marker drawings and she has baskets of clothes neatly folded. So I’m paying her to do laundry and cook her kids dinner, while my child is left unsupervised. And don’t get me wrong food is there for her to eat, I don’t have a problem with her eating but she is using my weekly groceries to cook dinner for her son and boyfriend.
If you’re paying market rates then I’d get someone else in. Start looking for new sitters then let her go. By no means am I someone who would get into knots over someone having a little food here or there etc, and I too have offered friends use of my machine when theirs has broken but this isn’t that. And I know exactly the type of person who behaves like this: shameless. With that much laundry it’s like she’s running another business at your expense. I had a cleaner who showed up 2.5hrs late, slacked, made me late to pick my son from nursery despite me asking her repeatedly and politely to hurry up, and she basically said my son could wait, AND she had the nerve to ask me for an advance and pay for her gas and mobile bill!! I never had her back. This person seems similar. Cut her loose.
@Krishna that’s absurd! Yeah food is there for her to eat if she is hungry. It’s not my responsibility to provide dinner for her family when I’m paying her and she can use my laundry but at least 3 load a week is reasonable anything else go to the laundromat. I’m just upset that I am being put in the position to have this conversation with her because my husband just wants to keep the peace
It’s a bit excessive imo but if she’s babysitting for free, is the extra $ on your water bill really that bothersome? Same for the food, unless she’s using stuff you bought specifically for dinner etc or is using the last of things without replacing them.