I can’t be the only one going through this
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I’ve used this excuse and she said what exactly have you got planned? “I’m sure it won’t take the whole day”. I think where she knows I don’t really go out unless it is kid related, she knows I’ll be home. At first I was thinking it’s general sibling love but now I’m doubting this.
Then just be honest and tell her you don’t feel like going out.
I have a very up & down relationship with my sister due to her not being able to have children of her own so she wasn't around much when my little boy was a baby as it upset her that I managed to have a baby when I have a disability but she didn't. It is a lot better now that my son is a toddler & can talk & do more. Your sister has to expect that you will be with your partner on xmas day & if she doesn't like that, then she can't expect to be with you.
She sounds like a controlling and overbearing sister. She needs to be reminded that she is your sister not your parent or partner. She does not get to manipulate or gas light you in any way. Which it sounds as if she does these things on the regular. If you don't do XYZ, then I will XYZ, that is so unhealthy. It is obvious messing with your emot.
@Steph honestly, I wish I can be honest her. But I also fear that will create some form of distance between us and she will shut off. Im most cases, I’ll be the one pleading just because I may need help from her which I hardly ask for unless it’s an emergency
@Rachel it’s sad when a sibling think they should be in a better position than you because of XYZ. It sounds you’ve built a relationship as your son has got older. Whilst I know she wants to spend time with me in the absence of my partner, it’s just not ideal! Thats definitely something I have to conclude without her then thinking I think my partner is more important than she is as they are obviously both important. She just knows how to put me in uncomfortable situation
@Melissa overbearing. I went on a baby mummy date with another mummy friend a few months months ago and she text me saying “you both could have made more effort and make yourselves look pretty” SERIOUSLY! What I’ve noticed about her is that no one does anything right in her eyes. She is very temperamental and those that still want her around just tread carefully around her. It’s just becoming exhausting now
Talking to her is kind of your only option for if you want her to stop. If you’re afraid of doing that then your only other option is to carry on as you are. There is no magic fix.
“I wish I can be honest her. But I also fear that will create some form of distance between us and she will shut off. Im most cases, I’ll be the one pleading.” So many red flags here. 1. You can’t be honest with her because she will react punitively. 2. Emotional manipulation. 3. No boundaries. Like your needs do not matter compared to hers, in fact not even your child’s needs. RE Xmas… the key consideration is for your daughter here. If there is a good relationship between your daughter and her dad, then maintaining this is really important. So your sister needs to stop centering herself in everything, think of you and your daughter’s needs and learn to accept she’s not getting her own way. Start working on those boundaries; “no” is a complete sentence and always remember that what we allow others to do to us, is exactly what we are modelling as acceptable to our children.
Just tell her you’re not free when she invites you to stuff.