This is difficult!!

Have you moms ever told your teenage child “no” on something they’re asking to do, just because? Just because maybe you don’t feel like driving them somewhere. Just because maybe you don’t even know why but something tells you to say no. Just because you don’t feel like it. Because I said so basically Or must you always have a great valid reason for telling them no??

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Most of the time I like to give them a reason just out of respect. But I’m honest with my kids and will say no because “I’m tired and I don’t feel like driving anywhere right now.” It is what it is. They can’t have everything at all times.

@Tas thank you. I do too, most of the time. And truth be told, I do have a reason. Tell me if I’m wrong, backstory, Saturday nights are my nights to go out, started shortly after I separated. I have 4 kids, 17,15,9&6. I take the little ones to my moms and the oldest stay home. I let my oldest do things and I’m Uber mom for them any other day. But Saturdays, being that I’m out, I rather they be home so as not to worry anything happening to them while they’re out and I may be far from home. Today my oldest asked to go out with her friend, to an all day thing, I told her no, that she knows I’m going out tonight. And the world came crumbling down, that she doesn’t understand my reasoning, it doesn’t make sense to her, started throwing all kinds of things on my face, made me feel like the worse mom in the world, and now I’m sitting here like, second guessing myself and debating on letting her go 😭

My parents never used "because" if they couldn't provide a valid reason they went through with any request I had. I plan to be the same with my son. Technically "because I don't feel up to driving today" would be a valid reason. Just make sure you give that same grace to your children if they say "I'm really not up for X family activity today, or I rather do my laundry on Sunday not Saturday this week" If YOU can use "because" then they shohld also be allowed to use "because.

I just read your comment. It's absolutely not fair for you to own Saturdays as that's the prime day for children to hang out with their friends. It's unreasonable for you to claim that day every week.

I agree that you shouldn’t reserve the whole day. Most kids activities happen on Saturday. Saying no for anything that day sounds incredibly restrictive, but then I don’t know how much they do during the week. Think about what would let you say yes, what your “yes, if” would be. For instance yes you can go if you get a ride and are back by___” yes if your sibling can go with so I know you are both together”. “Yes, if I can pick you up early so I know you are home safe before I go out.” Try to get on the same page with your daughter and be on her team. What would make you comfortable with the activity.