Trauma one year later

It’s totally understandable for these feelings to come up at anytime, but especially at a milestone. My birth wasn’t the greatest or what I had planned which does still bother me but I know I’m genuinely traumatised by the first few weeks of his life with feeding/weight loss and how I was treated by one of the midwives. I can’t walk about it without crying, even still and think I’ve repressed a lot. You can ask for a birth debrief at any point, if you think it would help you process and deal with the birth. I do think I’m going to have one but just haven’t felt ready to yet xx

Me and my baby nearly didn’t make it on the table - I feel you both of our Bp dropped so low too a thousand docs started flying into the room I’m so triggered by it all the time and I had a horrid pregnancy too. Safe to say I want my tubes tied I came to this conclusion recently but I’m not sure what the future holds but I never want to go through this ever again x

@Emily how do you get a debrief ? I think I’m ready to know exactly how everything unfolded and know everything that was noted as I spent most of my pregnancy at the hospital with not the best experience from the nurses

@Patrycja contact your midwife service and they should be able to point you in the right direction or even your health visitor. There’s some information on this website: https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/after-birth/recovering-difficult-birth#Makingacomplaint Also, if you feel up to it, you can report any medical mistreatment or any complaint through PALs. I really really need to go through them about the midwife I had postnatally and my health visitor told me to do it early on, but I still just can’t do it as I have a mental block on it xx

@Emily thank you 🙏🏻 I’ll definitely look at this and yes I was also told by my midwife to report but I was too focused on my buba and recovery

Hi, I'm feeling this too. I'm glad there's distance between me and the event but it's an unhelpful reminder. I wish I didn't have to distance myself from it to feel better. I also experienced appalling behaviour by midwives, especially as I ended up at the wrong hospital. I've wanted to log my complaint with Pals for a long time but still haven't. @Patrycja @Emily there is a charity called Birth Rights. They provide advice around this. You normally have to complain within a year but for exceptional circumstances, say a difficult birth and thrown into motherhood you can do it within two years. I don't get what the cut off is for. I guess for them to formally acknowledge it?? I don't know when I'll get mine done, probably make a call to pals before 1 year (in a week!) and try and get a meeting with them to get my points down. I think it's important to include NHS England. Don't let trusts fob you off x