How do you go about a partner with depression?
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Does he have a job? My husband tends to spend a lot of time in bed on his phone when he doesn’t have something to do. If he doesn’t have a job can you give him things to do around the house to help you? Regaining a sense of purpose might inspire him to get out of bed
Medication
@Kathryn he does have a job and during the week he’s up a lot at night and can’t sleep and come the weekend just wants to sleep all day everyday he’ll get up for about 1-2 hours then say he needs a nap and goes back to bed
What are his hours like? If he has nasty shifts then his circadian rhythms could be all messed up which won’t help with depression
@Kathryn 9-5:30 but sometimes he works extra hours 9-6, 9-10 depends on how much needs to get done and for when
It honestly depends on him and if he wants help. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want help and is willing to put in the effort—not saying that’s the case just want to prepare you. Also, have him get a physical to rule out those factors. If it’s trauma or situational therapy is more helpful, if its other than meds should help but it can take time to find what works. A lot of insurances will cover online therapy/psychiatrists but depends on insurance and his needs. It’s also extremely important to take care of yourself. You can’t help someone while you’re drowning.
There’s factors that aren’t his fault contributing to his depression, he shouldn’t be shamed for his depression. BUT he is still responsible for his actions, depression doesn’t mean he gets a free pass. Yes it sucks but he needs to set an alarm and be accountable to help at a certain time each day. Sleeping all day makes depression worse. If it’s really that bad, needs an SSRI ASAP. If he doesn’t want meds, he needs to figure out another solution quick.
Getting therapy seperate is never a bad idea imo, but also couples can be beneficial too. Just having that neutral third party to hear both sides and mediate. As someone with many types of depression (PPD, general, seasonal...), depression is a b!tch. There are some days, no matter how much i want to, i cannot make myself get up. Sometimes i can override it, but not always. The biggest thing is dont shame him for it, or itll just make it worse. Medication *can* be super beneficial, but only if hes willing to keep up with it. For me, it works wonders, but it did take a bit over a year to find the right combination of meds and doses.
That to me is normal hours and shouldn’t be messing with his sleep, so probably it’s something else. As others have said he needs to want to make the change - I’d suggest he starts with help, either a therapist or a doctor to prescribe meds.
I would see a psychologist myself to get some support for yourself, and also encourage him to see his own psychologist. It may even be worth seeing someone together for a few sessions to address how your relationship is being impacted
I suggest talking to someone as a couple and individually. It may not work for everyone but you guys have good communication already it may help a little more than before
Has he tried speaking to the doctor? I’ve never had them myself but I have friends who swear by antidepressants. If he can’t even get out of bed then he needs to change something!