If God’s against divorce, why is he letting this happen to me?

God allows divorce in the case of adultery and abandonment . When God said He hated divorce, it was bc men kept divorcing women for trivial reasons or to be with younger ones. He hates divorce because God is faithful and wants us to be faithful like Him. That’s why it’s important to study these topics in the Bible for yourself and in context.

I do want to say, I’m sorry you’re going through this. No one deserve a marriage where you’re suffering like this. It also sounds like your husband isn’t saved and you’re both unequally yoked.

It’s important to understand it’s not every marriage that is God’s will or that is put together by God. The Bible verse says “what GOD put together let no man put asunder”. If the marriage wasn’t put together by God, often times they crash.

Sometimes God is actually giving you a way out of the marriage because He never put it together and it wasn’t His will. Marriage isn’t meant to be a prison or sentence. It’s means to reflect the love of God.

Have you asked God what His plan is for your life concerning your marriage? As God revealed to you what is going on in the spirit against your marriage? What the spiritual root cause is? Cause we can pray all day but if you don’t know what to pray against, you could be praying amiss.

You don’t have to give me the answers that’s between you and God but what I can say is that only God can give you those answers and confirmations. If it’s God’s will for your marriage to stay together, God will make a way but you need His direction and clarity.

If the marriage isn’t His will and God is giving you a way out, He will also make that clear to you and provide for you. But you must seek God and ask Him to show you the truth and the root cause of what you’re going through.

1 Corinthians 7, 1 Peter 3:1, Colossians 3:18, Romans 12:1-3, Ephesians 6:10-18, Philippians 4:4-8, Hebrews 4:14-16 & Ephesians 5:23-29 are some good scriptures to help you

Your husband will have to answer to God for his sins and how he treated you. But your marriage is also under severe demonic attack, and the enemy is using your husband to sin against God, and against you. We know that the Bible says the devil comes to kill, steal, destroy. So also keep that in mind. Your husband needs deliverance it sounds like.

https://youtu.be/4dDp7dxhQhw?si=37mKFT-CInCgw-5f

I believe this video will help you understand a lot about why you’re going through some of these things. There’s a reason why it LOOKS like God isn’t answering your prayers. Lack of knowledge can cause us to perish. I pray you can watch this video and receive understanding and insight into your own life. It gets very deep but it will really open your eyes 🙏🏾

Pray for God to show you a sign if this marriage isn’t meant to be. He is a God that takes away burdens. He will never give you more than you can handle. If this is taking a toll on you, and I can see that it does, you need to ask God to reveal himself to you and what he wants you to do about your marriage and ultimately his plans for you and your husband’s future. Cast your burdens upon him for he cares for you.

Dude I'm looking at leaving my partner because his mental health is destroying our family and affecting my little ones. I even spoke to my parster on this and she even said you need to do What's right for your babies. There is no condemnation. Do NOT listen to People like wis. All it is going to do is make you miserable and bring hate into the marriage.

@Samantha I’m sorry, what did I say that would cause her to be miserable or being hate into her marriage? & I’m asking this without being confrontational

@✨Wis 🇭🇹 said god hates divorce because people would divorce for Trivial reasons. Said God only allows devorce in adultery and abandonment l. You also spoke like you're forcing people to stay in damaged and dangerous marriages. You do not think of children. Marriage with children is no longer just about grown adults. Yes you are right about praying. But you also say God thinks it's right to stay in abusive marriages.

@Samantha I’m sorry but you completely misunderstood me. I was giving the OP the CONTEXT about the passage where God said “he hated divorce” (meaning it’s often quoted out of context). I’m also telling exactly what the Bible says verbatim. The Bible gives those 2 clear reasons. Meaning, not only in the Bible did people divorce for trivial reasons, but God would be totally okay with her divorcing since she has been cheated on & she would have scripture to back her up. My comments weren’t implying that abuse isn’t a valid reason. What I’m saying is there are no verses that say it flat out. So I’m really confused on how you got all of that based on what I said. I am telling her to seek God. She never mentioned abuse either unless I didn’t understand what she wrote?? Where did I say God thinks it’s ok to stay in an abusive marriage? You’re putting words in my mouth… maybe I need to rephrase what I said cause I thought my thoughts were clear

Perhaps He is answering your prayers, but has a better man in mind...who will love you like Christ, as husbands are called to do. 💛

@✨Wis 🇭🇹 by saying God would only grant devorce on reasons A and B your basically saying if people divorced for other reason that's not ok. So if other people like me read your comments they may feel attacked. I feel attacked. Your saying God will hate people if they divorce for what was it, you put "Trivial reasons"

@Samantha you’re completely misunderstanding what I’m saying and maybe because you feel attacked you’re not getting what I’m saying. If you can show me in the Bible where God listed word for word other clear reasons for divorce, I’m open to it. In Malachi chapter 2 when God says he hated divorce just wasn’t because men kept leaving their wives for silly reasons and that it was hurting his daughter which is why He said he hated divorce because of the hurt it caused his daughter who were being abandoned for silly reasons.
I also told her that “what God didn’t put together He will allow to break” MEANING divorce being okay in God’s eyes goes beyond infidelity and abandonment, it can also be because the man she married wasn’t it. Also, abuse can qualify abandonment. So again, maybe because you feel attacked, you’re adding to what I’m saying. Did you read the entirety of my comment? Cause I’m literally telling you what I’m saying, you’re telling me I’m saying something different.

@Samantha I also did NOT use the word “only”. You keep adding to what I’m saying. I would prefer if you would quote directly from my comments if you’re going to accuse me of saying something. I don’t know you and I’m sorry if anything I said offended you. However you are misunderstanding what I’m saying. Maybe I could’ve phrased my comments better however i think I was very clear in what I was trying to convey. If you can point to anything I said that was umbilical then please show me in scripture.

God gave people free will. And a out of adultery is committed

Samantha, I think you should take your time to read what Wis said in entirety. 🤗🥰

Sometimes, we may be deeply hurt by one thing or another, and when we read something that we feel strikes a cord, we may become defensive and not see the clear picture of what the other person is pointing out. 🤗 🥰

Wis, thank you for your warm message, I picked some helpful points there 🤗 🥰

OP, all I can say is, look out for yourself (and kids if you have) because when you lose yourself in the process of fighting endlessly to make something work where the other person is no longer interested, you can drain yourself completely and put yourself in a state where you lose the will to even live.
Even if you are not contemplating divorce, take a step out and stay elsewhere for a couple of days/weeks to clear your head and figure out exactly what you want to do 🤗

Take an intense marriage workshop for you both if he's willing to (I recommend retrovaille) and see if it helps.

Keep praying too 🤗 🥰

Sweet sister, I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

I want to encourage you to try to see God as your Father through this.

A father doesn't control everything his children does, but teaches and guides them so they know how to make the right decisions. Sometimes children choose to make the wrong decisions.

God is for you, sister. He is for your marriage, yes. But more than that, He is for you.

The cliche "dad threatening his daughter's 1st boyfriend before their 1st date" scenario we see in movies shows a father's heart to protect his daughter's heart.

Please remember how much more - infinitely more - our Father in Heaven wants to protect our hearts.

That's why He gave the laws He did. He told His people not to divorce - said He hates divorce. But, knowing that people would sin, He also gave women (and men in cases that are flipped) protections.
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This is a very long video (just over 3 hours), but it extensively goes through everything the Bible says about divorce. https://youtu.be/N2pC6ZikbYo?si=OGIqoIFvkNACen5g

If you only want the very short 2 minute summary, that's found here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2pC6ZikbYo&t=10733s

Keep praying, Sister, but allow yourself grace if your husband chooses to leave, or if you decide that you need to. You are justified in that. That doesn't take away the pain, but it should take away any shame or guilt you may feel. Our Father loves you. Please remember that.

@Kenedi you can change the play speed when you watch YouTube....usually 1.75X faster helps us moms gets through long videos haha 😄

He is answering your prayers. Just wanted to say that God doesn't let things happen TO you, but FOR you. You may not see it now, but you will ❤️

The Bible says that God hates adultery and that unrepentant adultery is a biblically sanctioned reason for divorce. You have tried long and hard it sounds to keep your marriage going. Remember god gave us free will, we suffer pain and temptations due to that and everything is not always perfect and meant to be :( ♥️