Pregnancy journey with a friend

One of my close friends has been trying for baby no.2 for a while and it hasn’t been the easiest. Just before Christmas she found out she was finally pregnant and 2 days before Christmas I found out I had a surprise pregnancy and our due dates were only a few days apart. Unfortunately she went for a viability scan this week and found out the baby isn’t viable and is having a miscarriage. I’m trying to be there for her as much as she needs and have completely stopped mentioning my pregnancy to give her the space, however I am now at a loss on how to go forward and want to do so in the best way. I feel like I can’t be excited for this pregnancy as much anymore and don’t know how to tell our close group of friends of which she is in etc. Does anyone have any tips on how to navigate?

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Gosh I am so sorry for your friend. I am completely with you with your feelings as it would feel selfish to share excitement with friends knowing your friend is in that circle and has had a loss. I haven't announced anything yet either as in a I'm similar situation. My very close friend miscarried recently and has miscarried multiple times. She's yearning for a baby and has cried about it to me. On top I have atleast 2 close family members struggling with fertility. At this time I don't feel comfortable at all sharing as I feel it would only bring myself an emotional burden. If keeping silent is keeping me at peace that's what I'm going to work with for now. This is our blessing and we can still be happy for ourselves while praying for the good of others. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing!

My sister was going through multiple losses and failed IVF rounds throughout my last pregnancy so I completely understand how you feel. Make sure you’re still able to find joy in this pregnancy in ways which don’t impact her so that you feel like you’re not robbed of the experience, whilst still being sensitive xx

As someone who went through a significant loss last year, the fact you’re asking how to deal with this situation just shows how good of a friend you are ❤️ Regularly check in on her and how she’s doing. Some days she’ll want to reply, others she want - but messages mean a lot. She knows you’re already pregnant, which is the main thing - I’d suggest just taking her lead on talking about the pregnancy. You have every right to be excited about your pregnancy and your friend would want you to be. In terms of telling your other friends, don’t just pop a scan photo in the group chat. Tell them in person if you can. Or if you want to do a group chat message, message your friend seperately first to let her know so the announcement doesn’t catch her off guard. Hope that helps ❤️