I want to run away but I'll vent instead

I can't pinpoint the main issue of my frustration but this is where it started. Yesterday my husband went LITERALLY down the road to get soap. 2 min drive (.5 miles) or a 10 min walk (1 mile). I asked him before he left if he was going to go else where or be long he said no. Soap ans right back. It took him an hour. We had two phone call one at the 10 min mark when he told me one of his older relatives passed and at the 30 min mark when he said he was waiting to get gas. Mind you he left to get dish soap so that I can wash dishes while he finished cooking the food. But because he took so long I now had to bathe the baby myself, rush to find her something to eat, do the bed routine to still get her in bed at a decent time ( she has night terrors if she stays up later than her bedtime) i was also watching rice at this time. When he got back he didn't say anything. I put in headphones cause I was pissed off. I felt like he left and stayed gone to avoid being fucking helpful. But maybe he took a min to process the death in his family. He is very soft when it comes to deaths but idk if thats a valid reason to put that before the responsibility of feeding and getting the kids to bed. He can mope afterwards right? Am i being insensitive? Then comes this morning. He is off. It's my one day where I shouldn't have to juggle my 1 year old and work from home but he is in bed sleeping with not a care in the world. She's crying in her bed which I cannot handle. And when i take her out she is making a mess and spilling water from who knows where everywhere. Its only been 3 hours since I've been awake today and I'm alredy overstimulated and pissed the fuck off. If he doesn't want to fucking exist and deal with responsibilities. Why tf is he here in my space. Ugh!! [ i am aware that my feelings don't make since. I am diagnosed bipolar and may have bpd instead (doc and i are testing) but it still irks me so bad to have to do everything by myself and he acts like he has nothing to do]

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Well I think you should bring up to him. You can’t get mad if u don’t bring it up because he may not know what he’s doing and how it’s affecting you. It’s not right at all and he should be held responsible seeing as they are BOTH of your kids.

@Faith i want to. But I can't calmly do that rn. And i don't want to make it bigger than it really is. But if I don't talk about it. I can't calm down

I have a diagnosis of both. And I tell you having kids ain't for the weak especially when you add a diagnosis like ours plus single parenthood while still "having a man" who's the dad around who refuses to do what's right for the family. I'm at a homeless shelter with my almost 9 month old. He was supposed to go with us so we could all get a place together and be a real family, did he come? Nope. So guess who's now done. I told him yesterday to f the f off and get on with his life. If he can't handle things this way for 3 months till we can get an apartment then he's not gonna reap the benefits I sacrificed for and he wouldn't. I don't even want him to be around our daughter at this point since he told me if I left him he wouldn't be able to have anything to do with her either. This was a separate time where I broke up with him for a week straight because I was tired of his crap and honestly I was falling for someone else at my job. Because I've basically been a single mom since I was pregnant.

@Kelly Mae thats the exact feeling. I feel like a single mom. I have to tell him what to do as if he is a child to get things done. And I'm tired of talking to him. I told him this many times before ans it's so lonely cause I can't depend on him cause in my eyes I don't see him as a man I guess. There are times he shows up but this sad and depressed baby act he has going I can't handle that

Well when approaching the situation jus go into it and breath. And if during the conversation u find that ur starting to get too angry, then just walk away and give urself the time to cool down. Just do something that makes u happy. Idk if u smoke but maybe a lil blunt before the talk will help, fuckin helps me for sure 😂.

Or take a day off where u plan something for urself like a nail appointment or something where u and ur man discuss it and put it in ur calendars so that u have time for u too. But also try to sympathize with his family death. Men listen when they feel heard (DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO HEAR HIM, jus act like u do)

Incognito I think at this point it's important to have the or what conversation and just find out if he's willing to step up on his own or if he's not willing to change and you just need to move on and really be a single mother. Mine had stepped up from time to time but he had struggled with drug use being around nasty users and I fought tooth and nail for him to get away from that life. I was gonna leave before I found out I was pregnant we both found out together and I just couldn't leave him then. Should've been all the more reason to but I didn't want to separate a family. When push comes to shove and they don't step up take that as your answer. Men will move mountains and accomplish great things when they love a woman and he has her by his side. So take that as you will. I hope he does what's right for you and your precious one. 💓

I also recommend John delony on YouTube he explains how behaviors a language. And it's important to watch what they do rather than hear what they say

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