Need Perspective - I Think I’m Doing This All Wrong

I’ve been wanting to pose this question for a while now and last few days is escalated to a point where I really need some perspective. I feel like I’m going about this all wrong despite trying my best with everything I have to do. I work full-time and have two little ones at home and my husband also works full-time. I could really get into it, so instead, please read these highlights below:
• I feel badly when my kids need to stay in their play area while I work. They have the whole run of the living room which is a pretty big space, and I rearranged their toys and clean things up every night so that they have a fresh place to go into to enjoy each day. We also have either Miss Rachel or Sesame Street going on so they get to watch whatever makes them happy. I also make sure to read them throughout my workday and get down there and play with them during the workday. I also try to get them down for naps on my own. Again comments as well my husband and I are both working.
• I’ve had a pretty rough work week this week because a project I’ve been working on, that I’ve been communicating about for months, finally got the attention of people who decided they wanted to be involved and instead of asking to be involved they tried to throw me under the bus by saying that I’ve never communicated about this project whenever I have been. I have my receipts, but no one‘s reading them and managers are making up their own narratives and I’m in a position where I feel like I can’t say anything.
• So, with that energy, I’m trying not to bring that into my family life. But I insisted communication with my husband last night. Let him know that I’m feeling overwhelmed. That I can’t start work late to do breakfast in the morning, pause to feed them lunch and then try to put them down for naps in the afternoon while he either does his full workday at his leisure or plays games. I also make dinner with a recipe and he says it isn’t what he wanted and would rather have a hot dog. I’m also trying to work with my kids and their food allergies and give them cooked meals at every meal time and they just throw it on the floor. So that equals a dirty kitchen, me feeling stressed out, and feeling guilty about not being able to interact with my kids as much as I think I need to. The response from my husband was that he hates my job and thinks that I’m trying to do too much with the kids. And now because I’ve been in a mood where I wasn’t happy happy fun time girl, he is now more silent and distant.

I just feel like I’m trying to put 100% into every aspect of my life and I keep coming up short. The kids seem like they’re always crying, my husband seems annoyed with me, and people at work are not listening to me either. Maybe I’m just going about this all wrong. This isn’t a clear question and answer post, but clearly I just needed someplace or someone to talk to.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding