High bmi mums

I’m in a similar position to you and would also be interested to know this. I’ve heard horror stories about this, who told you you’d be best off having a C-section?X

I’m sure my bmi comes under 38/39 I’m only C-section due to other reasons not weight related. And same in my last pregnancy. I think whoever you’re seeing is being a dick. If you don’t want to be induced you tell them that. You still have every right to a birth plan you want just like everyone else

What hospital are you with? If you have no actual issues other than BMI (which is a racist assessment anyway) then you can argue back against these things. Ask to speak to the birth options manager/senior consultant to put together a plan and remember you can decline anything they say, it is just hard on your first baby as you want to do what’s right, but they can’t force you to induce early or go in on exactly 40 weeks.

@Kierra I was told by a doctor (the only one I’ve had) that I might need one and to be open about this. I just personally don’t want one unless it’s needed for the safety of me and the baby

I don’t know what my bmi is, but I wqs consultant led, had to aspirin daily, had extra growth scans and the GD test in my first pregnancy, but had a vaginal birth in a birthing centre 4 days past my due date. I was never once told I had to have a section or induction. I’m now in my second pregnancy and heavier than before, and my bmi hasn’t even been mentioned. I’m still consultant led but now that’s because I had a blood clot in 2023. You have every right to have the birth you want. I would research the NICE guidelines so you’re fully informed and therefore have the confidence to question stuff with your medical team. I think most of the time they push their agenda knowing most of the time people don’t know any better and think oh if they’re saying this it must be right.

It really does sound like your doctor is not the best, but I can’t say as I’ve not even had my first midwife appointment yet and I’m worried she will be the same. I will let you know if it’s an overall thing or your doctor being that way x

@Tiffany i totally understand, I hope you have a safe delivery. I think so too, I’m about to start my birth plan and I will be stick with my gun with what I want x

As a black woman, the BMI scale was never based on our body composition. And being that you are healthy with no complications (glory to God), deny the c-section unless it medically necessary at the time of delivery. Black women have the highest percentage of unnecessary c-sections.. please advocate for yourself. You know your body and you know what your heart is telling you to do. Again, if they can’t give a medical diagnosis of why you absolutely need a c-section at the time of labor, deny it🤧 good luck to you !

My first pregnancy I had this experience, they said i was high risk even though i had no other problems. In my second pregnancy I was in another hospital and my bmi was even higher and I didn’t have this experience, I was low risk. And felt very comfortable. Its all scare tactics, and them trying to reduce risk for themselves. Plenty of big women push out big and small babies. Do your research and advocate for yourself. If you want a c-section great, if not don’t let them tell you otherwise. The water birth thing is because of if you faint they say they can’t get you out of the water etc but try to push them, say your partner can carry you if they can. And being induced because of BMI is bs, maybe a big baby but even that is personal preference. A bigger girl can push a big baby especially if you are tall etc and it is in proportion to you, your body was made for it.

@Kiyah thanks you! Being a black woman also worried as everything you said is 100000% true. My melanin shouldn’t make me any more of a risk the next person. I’ve actually started some antenatal classes specifically for black and mixed heritage women and I’m hoping I get ALOT of information from that too x

Okay BMI is literally just your weight divided by your hight or at least something to do with those 2 measurements, it has no real research/backing for women let alone pregnant women, it does not take into account muscle mass, diet, other lifestyle factors, disability or other health concerns, if you are other wise healthy/low risk tell them explicitly that you do not want anything even remotely close to a c section unless absolutely medically necessary, I've been telling the drs I've seen since I had my first appt that I do not want ANY interventions unless absolutely medically necessary ((personal choice not going to bash anyone for opting for interventions I'm aware every circumstance is different)) however if they are pushing for a c section solely on the basis of your bmi I'd ask for WHY and what the actual risks are given your circumstances if there only reasoning is a high bmi I'd be cautious

@Anisa im sorry to hear that you had a similar experience to me and im happy you was able to have a better experience second time around. I’m going for growth scans and the baby is measuring normal atm and no issues. My partner is actually a medical assistant and lifts people all day so I would like to what they have to say about that too. I’m going to start with my birthing plan this week and I will make sure to stick with it as long as it’s healthy for me and the baby to do so. I think the BMI thing is really bad, I’ll be told everything is perfect with me, but because I’m bigger than some all of a sudden there is risk to the baby and that risk, constantly hearing that making me feel like I’m not doing going good by my baby.

I would switch doctors sounds like he doesn't have your best interest. They tried to get me to have a C-section because my first daughter had shoulder dystocia. I declined I had two births after my first that didn't have shoulder dystocia. The midwife who delivered my first daughter literally pulled her out wrong. Also my BMI was over 40 when I had my son 7 weeks ago and I had a great natural delivery. I delivered all my kids naturally These doctors will tell you anything. Especially as a black woman. Go with your gut. Don't do anything your uncomfortable with.

@Bailey thank you, I’m going to ask why they want me to have a c-section. My mind is always going a million miles when I’m in the room and sometimes i find it hard to say what I want due to the fear they put in from what they say

@Aleiscia I’ve only seen one doctor atm, the hospital hasn’t been the best and they have failed to give me some appointments which I don’t know I needed and a FTM. Was you told you couldn’t go past your due date and would need to be induced

@Shanika im with Homerton in Hackney. Thank you for that advice. Im about to start drawing up my birthing plan, and as some of the other ladies have said if they are so adamant on what they say I will be asking them why other then BMI

@khadijah no I was never told that. I know your late in your pregnancy but if your getting bad vibes with the hospital now I would consider switching. My mom literally walked to the next hospital in labor in the 90s for better treatment. Your body is going through so much you'll need that extra support not just from family but the staff at the hospital. I pray everything goes well for you

@Sarah seeing what you said has made me think why they are so concerned with my bmi, it’s almost as though they see my weight and me being healthy’ but are trying to find a reason to put me in that high risk bracket, I will definitely be look into that x

@Aleiscia today is the first time I’ve heard that and it really threw me off, as you said I am late in my pregnancy and it’s never once been said that would even be a thing to consider. I might need to consider the move of if I feel that my questions are not been answered

100% make them qualify why they are saying whatever they say. Before and during birth I was told an acronym of BRAIN to weigh things up: Ask what are the Benefits Risks Alternatives Instincts (go with) Nothing (is always an option until things change)

Slightly different, but my mum was 41 when she had her last pregnancy and she felt pushed into things she wasn’t comfortable with just because she was considered a ‘geriatric pregnancy’ (despite having a low risk pregnancy in every other way like you). They wanted to induce and also have her in birthing positions that were more about the doctor’s convenience than hers. She has regrets about not following her wishes and listening to them too much. Some useful questions might be - is this medically necessary (and can you explain the reasoning?) Can we delay that plan for an hour / day and check again then? Is there another option? What are the medical reasons I can’t do that (something you want to do like a water birth?) Also I would make sure your partner/birthing partner is really across what you want and ready to ask some of the above questions as it’s harder to advocate for yourself (or even talk!) during the thick of it! Sorry you’re having this experience 😔

My BMI was 39 i believe. I actually had a really good experience throughout my pregnancy. Only 1 negative doctor but i refused to see him afterwards. I was high risk anyway due to medical conditions so i’m not sure if thats why my weight wasn’t really mentioned. I never have high blood pressure, diabetes or any issues at all. Drs do like to make everything about weight when it doesn’t need to be. Just because you have a higher bmi does not mean anything! I had an elective csection, but was fully supported in a natural birth if i wanted one! I’m sorry you’ve had a bad experience x

@Shanika writing this all down for then next time so I’m prepared 🤓

@Tess thank you for giving me some examples, I’m definitely going to note this all down and make sure I’m ready to ask what needs to be, I can sort of understand some things they may say, but what they also need to understand is that, women have been having children many many many years before all this medical intervention was brought in and you would like to think that we would know our body and what we can and cannot handle. If something was to go wrong or needed medical attention that would be told to us so we can act accordingly.

I work in NICU/CVICU at the children’s hospital and my sister is a L&D nurse there’s some scary complications that can happen with high BMI moms that go past 40wk. I’m measuring big & FTM as well. I did the want to get induced but i didn’t think I was going to get this big 😭😭. I’m scheduled to get induced at 39+6wk. I am because I don’t want potential complications.

@Rachel im glad you have a good experience as i wouldn’t anyone to feel like how i currently am. Before putting the fear in me it would be nice for someone to have asked me what I would like and then explain the risks that may come from this and let me decide rather then being pushed to do certain things I know my body will be capable of

@Tiffany I totally understand if I am measuring big, then of course I will be doing what is right for me and my baby. But I’ve been having growth scans and so far everything is fine. If that changes I put my hands up. But that’s not what I’m being told, I’ve been told I need to do this and need to do that without a real explanation to why other than my BMI, my appointment today just felt very rushed and it was very hard for me to ask the questions I needed to as they where ‘short staffed’. I’m hoping you induction goes well and you give birth to a very healthy baby xx

I don’t have any complications either ( no high BP or gestational diabetes) I rather be induced then potentially have a c-section. I think it is odd for them to already tell you that you need a C-section when you’re only at 34wks. For sure you should not go to full term (40wk) but induction at 38wk minimum.

@Tiffany can I ask why it’s advised to be induced early, if you know the answer of course. I think that’s where I’m really struggling to get my head around. I’m not being told the risk just basically that I’m overweight and I need to be induced

Oh yeah, they should have listed all of the complications when they advised you to be induced early. Shoulder dystocia, longer labor which can cause stress on you & your baby like drop in their heart rate, thromboembolism, etc. I’ve seen some scary things at work; I just want me and my baby survive childbirth lol

@Tiffany totally understandable , that’s the goal for all of us lol. You definitely got to do what’s best for you both x

It’s a red flag though for them to tell you off the bat that they are short staffed (we’re trained not to tell patients & do our best) and already telling you need a C- section at 34wk. Induction 100% yes but C- section should be determined at 36-37week.

Praying for all the best for you & your baby. I hope you get thorough clarification at your next appointment! 💕

For peace of mind I would definitely bring it up on next appointment. Just to add my last pregnancy I was able to have vbac. It failed but that’s because I wasn’t allowed a long labour I was induced at 38 as I said I have other issues which makes me high risk. It was only this pregnancy because I got pregnant so quick from last that I’m told C-section only (my children will be 15 months apart) If they’re saying C-section ask why, I do agree with others they’ve given you this information too early and sounds like because they’re short staffed they’re just wanting you to jump to their tune. My second baby last year I didn’t find out about induction until week 36. This time I knew it was a C-section from week 16, but I won’t know a date until they see both my 32 and 36 week scan. If they think baby will be too big at 32 they may give me a possible date but likely wait until 36.

I would join the Heavy Weight Midwife group on Facebook. It’s full of really useful information about your rights and how to go about managing your medical team. If there are no other issues that make you high risk, they can’t refuse a water birth or not let you go over your due date. You can do things like request a meeting with the head midwife and have an out of policy birth plan written for you. X

@Mish I joined last week! Just working my way around the page. I’m going to arrange something with the head midwife x

Stand your ground on the induction - I swapped consultants at 38 weeks to somebody that listened and supported by Labour wish list. I had a gas and air delivery in the pool, 7hrs, 6 days late. This would have been a totally different experience had I been induced on my due date which is what I was told had to happen. Re. The birthing pool. It’s serious H&S. - midwives need to physically get you out in an emergency so you may for yours and your babies safety have to accept that.

I’m having a home birth ( actually in labor now). My midwives never discussed my weight beyond asking if i lost more than 10 lbs when i had Hyperemesis. I never stepped on a scale. My baby is likely around 9 lbs. i don’t have gd. I do have very mild preeclampsia that’s developed in the last few weeks, but we’re managing it well and my blood pressure is stable.

For reference I’m 5’5 and pre pregnancy I was 295. I’m probably 330-350 now. Haven’t stepped on a scale since 17 weeks.

I had a high BMI when I was pregnant and they never classed it as a high risk pregnancy or said id be better with an induction. In fact they never mentioned it

@khadijah regardless of what they suggest is “best for you”, you’re MORE than within your right to refuse. No one can force you to give birth in a particular way or before you’re ready. If you have had a conversation where they explain the risks and benefits of each avenue they’re trying to push you down I would just leave it at that. Biggest advice is: Do your own research and make your decision based on everything you learn from both the midwives/consultants and your research. Then just be firm with the hospital. Say “I understand what you’re saying and I appreciate the information. This is my body and I know it better than anyone and so will decide how and when myself. I will birth my child in the way I choose and I will not allow the hospital to stipulate the timeframe for my birth”. Stick to your guns, be firm and don’t let them sway you. They may disagree but ultimately, it’s your decision Xxx

I had an induction at 39+1 and I honestly regret allowing them to put me through that. I had a Dilapan induction which was the least pharmaceutical out of them and they told me off the bat to expect baby to come day 3-5. As it was, my son was born 6.5 hours later but the labour was horrible. I had back to back contractions to the point there was no break. My TOCO sat consistently at 92. I couldn’t move. I begged for pain relief and they said “not until I can examine you but it’s too early for that”. About 2.5 hours into labour they gave me some paracetamol🙃 My mum fought for me to go to L&D as I was on PAU at this point. L&D checked me and said I just needed the toilet, so made me walk over & I almost collapsed - turned out I was actually crowning 😒. 7 mins later, he was born. I had 4th degree tears because none of the midwives listened to me. I was high risk & baby had cord complications so was told labour would be closely monitored but spent 90% of it on PAU with just my mum🫠 xx

@Francesca that’s not true about the pool, because if it were it would be a max weight. You can have a bmi of 40 and be 5”2 and be lighter than a 5”11 lady with a bmi of 32. You do often demonstrate you can get in and out of the pool, but it has nothing to do with the midwives being able to lift you. Also one of my midwives was pregnant herself, so wouldn’t have been lifting anyone.

Hi I haven't read all the comments so not sure if this has been mentioned already, did you speak with a birthing centre midwife or has it only been GP? I had a high BMI and gave birth in a birthing pool in a London hospital. DMs open if you want to chat! Good luck

@Mish ah ok maybe just poor advice then! BMIs are stupid anyway. I’m very tall and very slim and always told I’m underweight but I’ve been like this forever, perfectly healthy and all the women in my family are the same! It’s a very silly scale