Disconnected..?
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I have a 16mo and a 5mo disconnection is normal after having a baby it is instinctual to focus your emotions on your newborn in the early stages because our brains are hardwired to focus on the most vulnerable child even though I consciously know my 16mo is still just a toddler my instincts tell me he can be more independent because the baby isn’t physically able to do anything for herself
I can’t relate on the dad front tho my son is a Velcro baby he is mostly clingy with me and he’s lowkey my best friend (because I know he won’t tell anyone my business cuz he doesn’t talk yet I can literally tell him anything and he always looks so invested in what I’m saying lol) I just read about that somewhere and it stuck in my head so I thought I’d mention it
So my 1yo son has recently wanted only his dad. If he sees his dad but is with me he’ll cry until his dad picks him up and it’s upset me soooo much! I’m pregnant so dad gets up with him in the morning or if he wakes at night, and puts him to bed, so they’ve created a strong bond which I love but also feel like he’s not loving me as much - until today. We went somewhere new, to a swimming class and my husband was the one doing the class with him but my son only wanted me, he didn’t want to go to his dad and every time he saw me when he was in the pool he cried for me. It made me realise that no matter how happy they are to see or be around others, we as mums are their home and their safe place and I feel SO much better knowing that. I think it’s the same for all children and hope this brings you some comfort too!