Bedtime routines

Please can someone help me I feel like tearing my hair out šŸ˜¢ trying to get my 12 week old baby into a bedtime routine and it just isnā€™t going well. Iā€™m putting her down in the next to me crib in mine and my partners room and dimming all the lights and she HAS to sleep with a dummy in or she just screams the place down and she will settle for 20 mins tops then spits her dummy out and she will just not stop crying so we are constantly going up but because sheā€™s seen us go up and put her dummy back in she wonā€™t settle back down. Only time she will actually settle is after a bottle & bath. Can I give her a bath every night is that what I have to do? Please someone help.
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

You can definitely give a bath every night if it helps and there are no skin issues etc. youā€™ll be doing every night eventually anyway so it doesnā€™t hurt to start the routine early

Also to say that it takes a while to establish a routine. At this age they are not quite equipped to settle themselves to sleep so it may be that she needs you to have a longer winding down with her. Their sleep cycles are still pretty short so she is likely in light sleep when her dummy falls so itā€™s easy for her to wake up. How are her naps and wake windows? When is her last nap before bedtime?

I say this with love and as a second time mum who tried it all the first time round... do not let alone "routine" consume you and steal the joy from you in these early days. She is only 12 weeks old and it's so early to even think about a routine... at 4/5/6 months (whenever the baby is ready for that - will be diff for everyone) then maybe yes, but 12 short weeks, she barely knows she's been born. Can you release the pressure from yourself and have her nap downstairs with you and if she's up she's up, if she sleeps great. Then she can go to bed when you go up to bed? I know it's so hard but she's telling u she's not ready for what you want her to do. Give her another month and maybe she might be ready but in my experience, the baby will tell u when they are ready for things. Doesn't mean you can't try sooner or whatever you want to do... my message to u is simply, please don't stress yourself about a routine which she is biologically not ready for. You're not doing anything wrong. You've got this ā¤ļø

@Alexandra thank you so much I needed to hear that. Itā€™s so hard but so rewarding as well all I keep thinking is that she should be in a routine but donā€™t realise how young she is. I just need to be patient thank you for the advice šŸ©·

I settle my little girl downstairs. She then sleeps on me for about an hour, and hour and a half, whilst I juggle eating something without dropping it on her šŸ¤£ My toddler has just started going to bed earlier, so in my head I thought I could also go to bed earlier as the baby is already asleep. Nope! Absolute nightmare! She woke so much!! It's like she needs that cuddle and closeness first. So my toddler's routine has changed, but I have kept the timings the same for the baby, whilst looking longingly at the uninterrupted sleep my toddler is now getting! Baby allows me to put her down around 8.30 ish, so it could be a lot worse. I can also watch some adult TV, so I'm taking that as the bonus. It's amazing that you have got some routine already, though. Bath everyday is alone fine, but the paediatrician suggested not to use bubbles every day when we did this for our son and to only wash hair every 3rd day.

@Siobhan ahhhh the struggles of not dropping food on them while cuddlingšŸ¤£ yeah sheā€™s really good when sheā€™s had a bath Iā€™m going to try do it every day rather than every 2 days and do what you do then and do her hair and not use bubbles every single day she gets really bad fluff in between her fingers and toes from her baby grows so I constantly clean them out hopefully we will get somewhere soon. Itā€™s so hard especially as I have epilepsy and my triggers are lack of sleepšŸ¤£ couldnā€™t write it honestly x

I promise you that her natural routine/rhythm will become apparent if you allow yourself to see it. If you keep trying at this age to fit her into something you're just going to be left miserable and frustrated. See how it goes... and don't get yourself bogged down with what you think you "should" be doing. I know it's hard ā¤ļø

My baby has been in a hip brace that wasn't allowed to be removed and couldn't get wet. It has just come off and she had her first bath yesterday šŸ„¹ She loved it and was much more settled afterwards too, so we may be joining you in the bedtime bath routine

If you put a dummy in to fall asleep every time she wakes she will need that dummy again to go back to sleep. Same as if you used rocking or patting or shhing - any prop/sleep aid used will be needed at every wake up. We took dummy away and it took 3 challenging days for him to not need it anymore (surprisingly quick) Have you tried taking the dummy away cold turkey?

@Alexandra I also really needed to hear this today, thank you

@Isabel you're welcome ā¤ļø I'm jst sharing what I wish I was told bk when I had my first. I was totally consumed by sleep coaches on IG & other ppl telling me what my baby should be doing & it made me miserable & feel that there was something wrong with my baby. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him, he was just a normal baby that needed his mum. He's now 3 years old, has slept beautifully most nights since 15 months old. Of course still wants me sometimes in the night but in the first few months of his life I could never imagine the life we have now with him. I thought I was never gonna sleep again & never gonna get a shower in peace.. but it all comes back over time. I wish I hadn't stressed myself out so much and been so sad...i missed out on so much joy with him & I only realise now that I've found it with my second Son. That makes me feel guilty but I have to accept it. I thank my first born every day for allowing me to learn, very messily, how to be a mum so I can be better for both of them now! ā¤ļø

My baby doesn't like a dummy for us is not really an option. I recommend something called 'mobile projector'. My baby was perfectly fine to slerp in his bed from the beginning then wanted to sleep only with me then only in his buggy. Out of nowhere I was recommended this toy that I mentioned above and baby sleeps in his bed happily again. It projects stars onto walls and ceiling and has 3 spinning toys attached to it also calming music. So basically I put baby to sleep drowsy and he's falling asleep looking at the stars. I have a snuzpod so I guess it must ne attached to something strong like wood or strong plastic f.ex. I understand how desperate you are and I recommend trying as it helped me. I bought second hand on Vinted.

No harm in having a routine thatā€™s not strict with times etc. I have a routine for my little boy who is 8 weeks old but the times of night differ each night depending on his nap/feed times etc. We usually sit in our front room during the day, when he wakes up from his last nap which is usually 9/9:30 we have some time talking/playing silly faces with him, we then take him through to our bedroom, we give him a bath, after bath we switch on the projector lights, turn on our white noise machine and swaddle him then itā€™s bottle and a story/cuddles then pop him into his next to me crib drowsy but awake. This usually takes us to 10:30/11pm but can differ depending on him. A bath every night has helped so much with getting him settled and sleeping from the time he goes down till 5/6am and I canā€™t imagine not doing this now. We donā€™t use soaps every bath and we also have a gentle wash prescribed from the doctor for his skin so we tend to use just that at the moment, no fancy soaps/creams.

^ Also, he does take a dummy and heā€™s in the next to me which is right next to my side of the bed, so if heā€™s is unsettled some nights I do have to keep popping his dummy back in when he spits it out but this is never longer than 20 mins before he is out cold. It will get easier though, itā€™s only a matter of time before you find what works best for you and baba šŸ«¶šŸ¼

Read more on Peanut
Trending in our community

ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ

ā€Œ
ā€Œ