MAMAS I NEED HELP!!

Hey moms!! I don’t usually post on here unless I need advice or resources etc. I’ve been married to a marine for less than a year. We got married in NYC. We got stationed in NC camp lejeune. I would like to not go into too much detail unless you dm privately but to sum it all up I’ve only been here for 6 months. Within these 6 months I’ve been cheated on abused mentally physically emotionally psychologically financially spent 2 months in jail all while being pregnant with his second child!! I also haven’t heard from my son since I got arrested so about three months now. etc. I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO GET A DIVORCE CONSIDERING WE GOT MARRIED IN A DIFFERENT STATE. I can no longer be in this marriage while he actively cheat and take advantage of our BH.
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Context to arrest: I got arrested for pushing him because I didn’t put my reports in and defend myself trying to protect him and his job when I got released I had a no contact order that I violated because I had nowhere else to go. I just moved here. So when I got caught again I spent two months in jail.

The way I would just take the kids and start driving and not look back. I’d leave figure out the divorce papers later when you’re somewhere with support and safe. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

@Lizzie finally an answer!! I’m trying he has my son and won’t give him to me. I find myself crying a lot debating on leaving everything behind including my son or waiting to get my son to leave. I’m completely alone here no family no job no resources! I’m so new to this. I have tried contacting his command no one’s listening. I’m waiting on an NCIS investigation to be opened but that’s about it

@Jaeme Can you go to the police to get your son? I would not be leaving him with this guy :(

@Jaeme idk about the marine cause we’re army but go above his command team. Take it to bde if u have to (idk if that’s what it’s called there) but the military absolutely doesn’t tolerate infidelity. Not sure if u can since you’re a civ but see if u can talk to legal on base they might be able to help

Uhm adultery is a thing in the military, so report him to IG / legal on the military base and ask them if they can assist you in divorcing him . He will get in trouble for adulting make sure you have proof etc , I don’t think you should leave without your son because he will use it against you in custody battle as abandonment. I would really lawyer up . You’re still his dependent and should be entitled to military benefits from the military base so go to legal and family advocacy on base for help! I don’t know anything about marine but if it’s anything like army , you definitely have a winning case just with adultery n proof

@Jody legal is involved and helping but only for the domestic violence part of it and more so for strangulation. I’ve mentioned to them the cheating but they said to contact his command. I will find out more about bde

@Fatima THANK YOU!!

Sorry you're going through this. Don't take your son with you because if he lawyers up, they can pin paint you as kidnapping your own child. I know it's weird. The police can't help him unless there is a child custody he's breaking BUT lawyers know more on this situation. Girl, go beyond his commander if you need to. Look up the chain of command on who is the boss of the boss. The higher you go the more his unit will take action. Try a hot line chat. It goes straight to the big boss like the old man/woman military boss in his base. Like garrison boss. It goes down to his unit fast! Tell them you will report what's going on to the news (they care that problems like this go out in public. More pressure). Record your conversations! Find an app that can record while your phone is locked and hold it. He will see it's locked and won't bother to think your phone is recording. Again, I'm deeply sorry you're going through this. Best of luck.

Sorry you’re going through this. Have you tried the fleet and family life center on base? There should be one. There you can receive therapy for you and hopefully some support groups. See if you can find some other military wives on here that live on the base where you’re at. You really do need a community, even if it is one person. I hope you’re able to find some solutions and support. You really cannot go through all of this by yourself. Sending you love.

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