Stressful mums…

Hey! Rant pending🤣 So my mum is a qualified early years practitioner aswell as a mother of 2 (me and my sister) so i always appreciate any advice she gives me as im a first time mum. But i find she always questions and gets annoyed when i give her an instruction like if shes got my wee girl for a few hours and i say “have her back by 3” which gives her 5 hours with my wee girl and it gives my wee girls dad still a good chunk of the day to spend with her as we are both working this day and he finishes before me. My mum then says “thats not enough time, why do i need to have her back early. Can he not do something with her another day?” And thats the same with everything we do. She feels i “disrespect her” because we give her times to have her brought back rather than just let her bring my wee girl home whenever suits her. She then starts to make out that my boyfriend (my wee girls dad) is the problem as i wouldn’t put these things in place so it must be his doing…we make decisions together and im sick of her making out that he dictates what happens because its not what she wants. But when we do something that suits my mum and goes in her favour, then shes happy. My mum even gets annoyed if my boyfriend’s mum (my wee girls other gran) spends time with her and behaves like she isnt allowed. Ive tried talking to my mum about it but she makes us out to be the bad ones everytime. My mum has the biggest heart and means well but hates it when people dont think the same way as her. Has anyone else been in this position with their own mum?