in August 2025 Babies 🇬🇧

Thinking about not using dads second name for the baby

Since getting pregnant I’ve had this strong feeling not to use my partner’s second name as I feel like society is moving on and that as a women I should be able to use my surname and keep it the same for the kids. My fiancee and I are engaged and yet I know if we do eventually get married I don’t want his last name I’d prefer to keep my own as it’s quite a unique surname. After talking to my partner at first he agreed but with the influence of family trying to have a say they’re saying to use his second name. But I’m not giving in just because of what everyone else thinks. Has anybody else had this mindset and kept their surname for the babies.

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My husband always says he agrees if not yet married keep mothers name (unsure if be the same if we weren't married first...) But his sisters kids (different dads, some MIA) don't have the same name as there mum/primary carer. I personally when I married was happy taking my husbands name but didn't want to lose my maiden name. As only male not having kids and nearly 40. I made my maiden name my middle name legally after we got married and my son also has my maiden name as a second middle name like me. I think you're right to want to keep it but will be some tough conversations x

I understand as I’m the last person in my family with my surname and as an only child and being a girl I would traditionally take my partners surname. We have spoken about it and came to a happy medium of double barreling so the baby and my partner and me will have both surnames (this is just a happy medium) BUT if you do not want to take his surname at all don’t feel forced to as it is apart of your identification so if you’re not happy taking on a new identity do not feel pressured ❤️

We made up a new last name for the whole family when we married, neither of us wanted to bring our names with us :)

@Geo that’s really interesting, is that an actual thing you can do? I’ve not heard of that before. X

You can have whatever name you want as long as it’s not rude! My husband changed his surname by deed poll before the wedding, and then I married “into” the new surname legally when we married, and our kids took the new name when they were born :)