I'm so freaking depressed

I’m so sorry girl this is exactly why I would never do this

I just wanna leave but I legit have no one and nothing

I understand how ur feeling. I could never share just the thought makes me wanna vomit. U should try talking to him n tell him how u feel. Just bc u agreed to this n the beginning doesn’t make u the bad guy or wrong for changing ur mind about it now that it’s happened. How were u supposed to know how you’d truly feel about something that u never experienced b4. Tell him u can’t do it that u can’t live like this that it hurts too much. You thought you’d b ok with it but turns out now that it’s happened ur not ok at all. Tell him what u really want & need & if he doesn’t agree then maybe u should let him go so u can start healing & move on otherwise you’re gonna b stuck in a relationship of heartache & pain that’s gonna wear u down to the ground. And u don’t want that or deserve that.

I've tried to talk he disregards what I say and my feelings....

I’ve been in a few poly relationships so my comment is from experience . I am in a committed monogamous relationship now. I know the emotions involved with a polyamorous relationship and they can become very blurred and difficult from any part of the situation. It’s not your fault that you might have agreed and then fell out of love with the situation , that is normal and okay . The problem definetly lies within your partner if he wants to keep you and be there for you. I can also understand from his standpoint that he might have deep feelings or need for this other person but that shouldn’t come at the expense of your feelings . You either have to make the decision that’s best for you or hope he can be man enough to make the decision best for y’all. I know the hurt you are feeling right now because I have been there on both sides of the coin and it’s just not easy no matter how we spin it . You just have to do what’s in your best interest and that doesn’t mean settling for crap.

I genuinely hope for your peace and strength through this very difficult and emotional battle you are faced with but always put yourself first ! 💜💜

Also don’t blame yourself love ! Please use this as a lesson and a blessing but don’t shame or blame yourself for feeling how you felt at the time . Time changes as so do people 💜

If he cant respect your boundaries in the relationship leave him! If its hard to leave and you won’t then slowly distance yourself and prepare to detach. No one deserves to be in a relationship that constantly takes from their well being.