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@Kellie I feel like I’ve become a fulltime Mum and for some people, thats a dream job but for me its not. Ive been out to see friends twice since having my baby girl, and both of those times were for a couple hours only. My partner works when he wants and decides on the day when he has a day off so my life lacks schedule and routine, no matter how hard I try. My mum makes me feel like Im inconveniencing her when I ask her to look after my daughter and my Mum in law makes any excuse because shes too afraid of looking after her alone. So all in all, I never get time to myself. My partner has taken our daughter to his Mums 5 times since shes been born for a few hours, just so I get time to myself. And I always spend the time cleaning the house and then having a bath and washing my hair… Before baby, I was a gym bunny and had my life together, going on solo holidays and seeing friends regularly. Now ive gained 2.5 stone and my quality of life has just depleted.
Can you check if you gym has a crèche? My friend has a gym membership but she just uses the swim and spa and sauna when her kid is in crèche she doesn’t even gym lol, but that crèche is her sanity 2-3* a week. Or look for one specifically w a crèche and you can fit your gym time in again. That does sound hard w you husbands’ schedule though. Or next time he does take the baby purposely head off to the gym, I know it’s not frequent enough but maybe you can plan it that way. My dance and Zumba classes are all at 7-8pm so he’s always home at that time, I don’t do the day classes I do the night ones when I know he’s home and can do bedtime. Just dip it every chance you can, if he’s home at 6 that day after dinner head off to gym. I guess, just work around his timetable since it’s so unpredictable. But take the moments you can and run w it.
I do think about stuff I use to when I didn’t have a baby or I’d think I can’t go here because she can’t. I do miss that sometimes but I absolutely love and don’t regret my daughter. She’s truly a blessing
It can take 5 years to accept the change but for now just think of it as your job it's your job to make your child grow up feeling loved safe and wanted around the first year is the absolute worst thing in the world and anyone who says it isn't is lying you just have to grin bare it and count your blessings when I feel like not another day I stop and I think of everything I can be grateful for and in a little while I'm back to being resilient again but I've done it twice going on three times and I just don't enjoy that first year much but once the babies are a year and more they are much more fun
@Kellie My gym has a creche but he doesn’t want her going till shes at least 1, but i think im gonna go regardless, before i go insane. Working around his schedule is ok sometimes but it would be nice for me to be able to plan going out with friends or getting my nails done during his days off, just anything. Whenever he chooses a day off, i get dragged to his Mums house because I don’t have any other plans
It's their time now..our time will come when they grow up.
I think it’s the hardest adjustment . I would suggest getting a regular baby sitter just to give yourself some time each month . If family can’t be supportive
I'm happy as I've ever been, but my daughter is 3. If you'd asked me this when she was 7 months I would also not have been happy, give it time, it gets better x
@Kerry Thank you, this is encouraging 🙏🏽♥️
Sound like life as a mom when we have babies alot of things we loved to do gets thrown on the back burner and we become so busy with the baby bills work etc that we don't realize to just take time for are self so we as mothers get caught in family life etc and for get what life was before the kids husband ...long story short run a bath relax if someone can watch the baby just for a night go get that bottle of wine that you use to love or hell go treat yourself ☺️
I started seeing friends again, drinks and dinner again, date nights, and started some hobbies up at 3-4m pp, as long as he’s willing to take baby when I need, I’m happy. He doesn’t have to be the primary caretaker, just do his job as a father and husband (to allow my breaks whenever I ask, and he’s home and free to do so ) and I’m happy. I incorporate some of my old life, what makes me happy, into Mum life but I can can only do that because my partner is supportive and not a douche.