Would You Ask to Skip a Visit If Your Stepchild Was ill?

I have a four-month-old baby and a nine-year-old stepdaughter who stays with us every Friday to Sunday. She came to us last Friday with a cold, and since then my baby caught it, then me, and now my partner—it’s like a plague in here! My baby is still poorly nearly a week on, and both of us are feeling awful too, but of course, no rest for the wicked.

My question is—if my stepdaughter gets ill again, is it appropriate to ask for her to miss the weekend with us to avoid it spreading again? I know my partner would say a categorical no without even discussing it, but I’m curious what you other mamas think?

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Personally I don't think I would miss a visit for a cold. If the child lived with you full time, you won't send then away.
Maybe if it's something dangerous for the baby like chicken pox.

Kids are ill all the time so it would be hard to draw the line on when to cancel the visit or not and it may really affect your relationship with the kid and hurt their feelings.

@Conchi that’s completely valid. It wouldn’t happen anyways as my partner wouldn’t miss the weekend no matter what and yes kids do get ill often it’s just so hard seeing little one so poorly now one week with fever cough and blocked nose and is feeling rubbish too. I was just thinking what’s more important feelings or suffering

I agree with Conchi on that, if it was a cousin or a friend’s child that’s different. I think siblings are an exception, totally understandable that you will naturally want to keep baby from getting ill though ☺️

@Rebecca fair enough. It’s good hear other mums perspective 😊

My baby was basically ill for a month because of me which she obviously can’t stay away from I think it’s okay for her to see her newborn sister anyone else I was advise not to be around baby. For example, my grandparents were ill and didn’t hold her when seeing her etc

I wouldn’t personally, my oldest son brings home every single germ going from school to share with his brother (currently on chicken pox 🫠). I wouldn’t want to say to him to go stay at his grandparents to avoid spreading it to the baby. It sucks but it’s just part of childhood unfortunately!

I can absolutely see your point and concern, I’m in the same situation with 2 stepchildren and it’s such a delicate position to be in at times. My partner is like yours, he’d never say no but seeing my little one coughing was horrendous when the big brothers brought home a cold. Hope you all feel better asap.

@Ffion I think it’s hard to understand unless you’re in the similar situation. My boy has been up for hours feeling poorly at night and I managed to get gp appointment this morning, I’ll beg for antibiotics as I feel worse each day. Stepdaughter is coming back today no idea if either another virus or if better and we are now passing it back to her 😟

Absolutely, you can see an answer for an illness not to come into the house but it means disappointing some people to mention it and to implement it.
Oh no, I really hope the GP helps today, when you aren’t feeling 100% it’s even harder to navigate step parenting. Try and look after yourself a little, I imagine you don’t have much time for that though.
If you ever want to talk about it all just drop me a message!

It's so hard navigating step parenting but unfortunately when it comes to siblings I think it just happens. My step son is with us the majority of the time and goes to nursery..he's brought home about 4 colds since my baby was born in October and she's caught 3 of them.
Tbh. He gets them worse than she ever does with his asthma. It's just part of having siblings I'm afraid.

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How would you feel?

Just curious as I feel like I’m being petty but I thought I’d ask. I made what I thought was a good mum friend a while ago but after a string of comments on my parenting and then the final breaking point was making unkind comments about my daughter that made my daughter cry because she said it in front of her to her own children I decided it was best to end the friendship. I said it politely and just said that I couldn’t have my daughter around someone like that and I wished her and her girls the best.

Well now probably my closest mum friend is hanging out with her a lot and they’ve gone on family days out etc.

Am I being petty? Would you be a little hurt by it?

I just wouldn’t entertain someone who spoke negatively about my close friends children or her parenting. I don’t know I guess I feel a little hurt 🫣

* I’d NEVER tell my friend who she can’t and can be friends with. I’m an adult and can deal with it quietly and be happy for her to have another friend but really.. it has to be THAT friend?!* 😂

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I’m 5 week PP and have had mastitis twice, the first time resulted in hospital admission. I’m express breast feeding due to poor latch etc. I have such nipple trauma and pain which is not healing. I can’t bring myself to make the decision to stop breast feeding due to a feeling of guilt and failure. Any one else been through this?

Breast feeding

So I stopped BF at 3 weeks old and I stopped for 2 reasons

1) I hated what it was doing to my boobs and wanted one thing for myself since all of me belonged to my child
**(I know some of you may think that’s selfish on my part but my baby was strong and healthy and I asked my doctor what they thought before I stopped)**

2) i was going back to work and didn’t wanna stop working and go and pump every two hours because my work place was pretty fast paced and I didn’t wanna do that and it took about 45 minutes for me to set up and pump and then take everything down.

I want to restart since I am now a sahm.
Has anyone ever stopped and restarted after a few months??? If you did how was it? What did you do to restart your supply??

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If both toddlers in a family have speech delay would you say it is the parenting fault? Maybe not reading enough or not using the best vocabulary with them? (both of mine have speech delay and it might because my husband and I are not elequent speakers🥲)

Anyone else?

When I get texts like these they feel invalidating. My sister and mom seem to think I’m perfectly fine. But little do they know I’m dying in the inside I have severe PPD. And honestly I have it together around them cause time I tried talking about these allegations when I was BEARLY a month PP my sister judged me wholeheartedly to the point where I had just wished I was silent and had said nothing. My mom does not care all she’ll hear are complaints and snatch my baby out of my arms so I can go “rest” but that’s not what I need… I need someone to talk about these feelings with, comfort, a helping hand when it comes to house work, or offering to pick up dinner or my groceries that are paid for all you need to do is drive up and text that your in parking spot ___.

When she snatches my baby out of arms I get upset and cry cause I wanna hold my baby I just need help with myself not the baby…. When I cry my mom orders me to rest but I can’t rest cause I just wanna hold my baby and talk to an actual person who is not a therapist about my struggles and get help. I try to tell my mom that I need that she doesn’t listen and only offers help for the baby so I can go that on my own…. I’m begging for help it feels like and no one helps or even wants to.

I’m hesitant on how to answer back to my sister as she is 1 of my 3 bosses and can fire me for whatever reason since it’s a self business thingy. She’s done it before and didn’t allow me to be in her son my nephews life for 6 whole months only cause I was talking about how bad of day I had and that I wish I was at home in bed alone but I’m here and ready to work…. Can’t talk to my mom obviously…. How do I answer back without being too “nasty”

Anyone else feeling this way? Or can relate to some or most of this?