Hitting Kids back?

It depends, for example if one of my kids hits their sibling and the sibling his back I tell them that's life and that it wouldn't happen if they kept hands to themselves

My 3 year old hits quite often, but when trying to teach her hitting is not nice/okay I feel that it doesn’t make sense to hit her when she hits me. When she hits i immediately say “okay we are done playing” and remove myself. if she comes to hit me again after i walk away i will take her hand, get down on her level and very firmly tell her “do not hit me, i don’t like that, that makes mommy sad” (my toddler is extremely tuned in with peoples emotions so telling her it makes me sad or upset or mad she gets it) If she continues we have a “time out closet” where i take away her things/toys if she’s not being nice. We don’t get nice things if you’re not being kind. When it comes to hitting other kids, she immediately gets removed example if it happens at the library or the park, we leave immediately no warnings. If it happens at school her teacher corrects the behavior once then calls me to come pick her up. Same concept, we don’t get to play and have fun if you’re not being kind.

Hitting children back shows them hitting is okay and it will only scar you child and make them hit more

Definitely don't hit them back, it will not teach them what you hope for. What is best depends also on their age and level of understanding. If they are under 3-4... You can try to stop their hands from hitting you and say 'we don't hit others', 'gentle hands'. Tell them 'I know you feel upset, but we don't hit others'. Think about what they should be doing instead and teach them that. Find games or books that help them recognise emotions, anger, sadness, happiness, etc. Talk about it, give them examples of things that have happened and then later use that when they feel upset and how they should manage those emotions.

the consequences of hitting others are what you make them. if you decide that the consequence to hitting is to be hit, then when you hit your child (to correct them) they should then get to hit you because you hit them, right? the cycle continues. if my child hit another child i would apologize to that child “im so sorry he hit you are you okay?” and i would remove him from the situation and explain that we left because he hit someone. that teaches that the consequences of hitting are that you no longer get to play. if the other child hits mine back before i get a chance to intervene, i would pull mine away, and explain that hitting isn’t nice and sometimes if you hit somebody they might hit you back. then we leave because again, if you aren’t playing nice you don’t get to play. if my child hits an adult and the adult hits my child back i would probably hit the adult. because you don’t hit a kid. if the adult “tapped” him i would probably just cuss them out and then leave

They'll one day figure out on their own that it hurts and it's easy enough to verbalize that it hurts to teach them. You can walk them through apologizing if they hit someone. If you reinforce concepts like "hurt" (when they get a boo-boo, "that looks like it hurts, let's take care of that so it feels better..."), they'll make the connection. We don't hit for so many reasons and then giant body of research that says it's ineffective and bad on so many levels. In the case of hitting, especially, it doesn't make sense to hit and say "don't hit" because it's hypocritical. It's also really important to us that our LO never internalize the idea that someone who love them could hit them.

hmm, that's a tough one... I usually try to explain that hitting hurts and we talk about feelings instead of hitting back, but I get the struggle with wanting them to understand consequences. If someone hits my kid back, I'm usually more upset about the whole situation than anything else, like, can we just not hit each other, please? Just looked it up on the 'Heal App' and here’s what it says: "It's understandable to feel concerned when your child hits, as it can be distressing for both you and them. First, it's important to calmly address the behavior by explaining that hitting is not acceptable and discussing how it can hurt others. You can teach them about consequences by using role-playing or discussing feelings, helping them understand how their actions affect others without resorting to hitting back. If your child hits someone else and that person responds by hitting back, it's crucial to intervene and explain that two wrongs don't make a right.

I don’t agree with hitting kids back that’s how they learn this behavior to begin with. Firmly grab their hands and say in a semi loud stern voice that this behavior is unacceptable and it won’t be tolerated. Explain they need to use their words to express their feelings and keep their hands to themselves. If they hit again they will go in timeout. Keep doing this and it will break this behavior.