Sad situation..

Currently 9 weeks pp and know that I want to have more children. However, since having my first I don't feel that my partner has consistently stepped up to the plate, and I don't feel like we could manage having another one together as I think it'd just be a struggle (I pretty much do everything day and night).. not sure if I looking for advice or not, but feels good to vent

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I think you’re currently in the trenches and it’s really hard! have you spoken to him about how you feel? As I found that he totally didn’t realise what I needed. It is good to vent!

I would speak to your partner about your needs from him. A lit of the time they don't even think of stuff like that so could it be that he doesn't realise? You are in the trenches like Kerry said. Its hard and brutal. My partner wasn't comfortable with the baby stage. He was afraid he would break her so he did the house stuff and I did the baby stuff. However he would have her if I wanted to go out and always offered help if I needed it. It wasn't until she was around 1.5 years old also rhat he really connected with her as she was doing more and more. He loves her, he just didnt know how to interact with her until she was more than just a potato .

As Kerry and Emma have both said - it is full on and constant! My husband felt useless and not wanted or needed which made him withdraw. All that helped was by us chatting. I am hosting a fantastic free event for new parents in a couple of weeks and one of the speakers is talking about defining your parenting values which I think you would find really helpful. You can sign up to it here for free https://thechildcarenavigator.com/bump-to-1stbirthday-summit211853

I feel the same way at the moment, you’re not alone. My husband was great for first 4 weeks and I was so unwell and had surgery but then he went away with the army for 2 weeks and saw I ‘coped’ (with my mum staying here) so now feels like I can do everything. But that’s not fair and resentment can build. I’ve chatted with him and he’s currently on the sofa with a sickness bug so staying away from us, but he said once he’s better he will do his share. We’ll see .. because like you say, if he wants another one we’re taking it all in how they behave/help with this one. Have a chat with your husband and see what he says, ask how he feels and that you ‘need’ him. They need to be needed 🫶🏻 feel free to Pm me and have a rant xxxx

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