What would u do?

So my bf took my son on as his own from the very beginning (11weeks pregnant) now bare in mind he works 2jobs he won't have 'our' son on his own, he won't have him if his mother ain't there. We had an argument the other day because I said that he won't have him on his own at all, won't look after him if I wanted to go out or anything it's always his mother that has to be the 1 to have him! How would u guys feel about that?

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Heyy! Could it possibly be he’s a bit worried or anxious to be responsible on his own?? My husband use to say when my son was a baby my mum would have to come over whenever I jokingly said I’ll go out for the day- it’s like a safety blanket or not feeling solely alone and responsible if that makes sense! Even now my sons 2 and my husbands very hands on, but he even says it he’s not comfortable incase something happens and he doesn’t know what to do! I think men see us mamas like we are the caregivers we know our babies completely inside out and know what to do. x

My partner was the same, it took my partner a year until he started taking little one out. He said he felt more secure at home, but because of the hours he worked and how little time he spent with our little one, he felt like he didn’t know what he was doing and he’d mess it up. I said to him, “you know I feel the same way everyday. Things always change, I don’t know what I’m doing but I’m learning”. I told him the only way he will ever find out, is if he tries. I told him he could take our daughter to his parent’s house first, as they will help. Then over time, try taking her to a park, or to the shops. Anything small and build on it. And he did. He knew that if I didn’t get some me time, he would also have to witness me breaking down because of it and he didn’t want me to hurt. I think some people realise easier than others, but you have to keep finding ways to encourage him to spend some alone time or to take your child out. Even if you have to write a list of the routine you do,

The exact same routine then that can help. And if after you’ve provided all these solutions and he still doesn’t want to, then I’d be upset. It’s not fair for you to not have your own time, or have some of your normality that you are used to, or to not be able to go out with friends which all these things can help in so many ways. I would keep telling him that it’s important to you and he should try slow and steady.

There is an app that may be useful for him if he is open to it, and also if he sees himself as dad. It called dad pad. Where I live my partner was given the actual hard copy, which when I looked through it has everything. My colleague who was pregnant same time as me her area doesn’t do it, but her partner downloaded the app and said he learned some things. Your BF is probably worried about getting something wrong/ being judged

How old is the baby?

My partner is the same way and I totally understand where your partner and mine are coming from. My daughter is nearly 5 years old now and my partner has lightened up a lot but he still gets worried about being on his own with her. If he is alone for over an hour then he will take her to his mam's house. It has taken years to get to this stage but he is slowly getting more comfortable and confident. When I met my partner I told him that I will always go at his pace. All I expect is for him to be nice to her and he can up the father role when he feels ready. He told me that me telling him this had taken a lot of pressure off him and this has helped him to feel more comfortable. I have been a step parent in a previous relationship and this makes me understand a lot of his fears